August 24 th, 2004, Darlene was on her way home from afternoon shift. It was a quiet night and the drive home was long. She couldn't wait to get home to her comfy bed and cuddle up to her hubby and sleep peacefully. As she pulled out from the stop sign she saw the vehicle that was speeding toward her and it was not slowing down for his stop sign. She braked and skidded to veer out of his way... but he hit her hard. She died instantly. She was a daughter, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, sister and friend. Her laughter nor her tears would never be seen or heard again. Her extrodinary talents in the kitchen as an accomplished cook would never be tasted again. Her grandchildren would never feel her hugs and kisses or have Grandma read anymore stories as they cuddled up to her at bedtime.
She was a 911 Operator. Her job was a high stress job but she handled it with an ease of professional strength. Darlene was my former sister-in-law and during the 15 years of being family, we were great friends. I loved her dearly. She was strong and serious yet she had a wonderful quirky sense of humor. When she and I were together we really made family gatherings memorable with the crazy things we would do. After my marriage was over with her brother, we sadly lost touch. I always grieved losing my ex husband's family because, once, they were my family too and I loved them deeply. It took a long time to move forward from some hurtful words between Darlene and I and I will always regret them, now so more than ever.
Her sudden death in her young age of early 50's was a great blow to many, many people. It will be 3 years this August and the Court Case is finally making a decision on the punishment for the youth who killed her. He was drunk and speeding. This was not his first offense in drunk driving and speeding. His lawyer is trying to get him off because he admitted his wrong doing even though the Prosecuter testified that the accused told him quote unquote "She was just an old lady" ! Does that sound like he should not be punished for his wrong doing? He may only get 2 years and then the loss of his license for 5 years. What kind of a laugh is that! I am so sick that her death may not be able to prevent someone else from being hurt. I am so angry that it was unneccessary that she was taken so violently from her family...from her life. It just isn't fair. My heart breaks every time I hear the pain in my daughter's voice when she tells me about the outcome of the court case or the Coroner's report.
What can we do to speak out to those who have habitual records of speeding or drunk driving? Where can someone go to seek help for these offenses so that they won't repeat? How can we be a bridge to prevention because obviously there needs to be some sort of "connection to prevention". Isn't there enough troubles in the world already that we have to fight drunk drivers and speeders too? If you think you are one of these...please go for help. Don't be on the list of taking someone's life because you thought you were okay to drive.
My heart aches openly as I write these words. Maybe I shouldn't voice my opinion on this case but it was too close to home not to say anything. People, please...have a look at your life. is it the life you want or does your heart desire a change? Reach out...or pray. Call a friend. Don't grieve alone. Don't be angry alone. If you feel that you can't trust yourself, go for help because the consequences are far worse than admitting you need help, not just in drinking and driving but in other areas too like depression, anger, abuse, or anything that you are worried about. Life is already too short...let's not make it shorter for ourselves or someone else and their families.
Somewhere in my Christian heart I must find forgiveness for this young man who took her life because I will not be free if I don't. I will be filled with rage and hate and that does not feel good within my soul. I have come to far to return to my old ways of being bitter. My only solace is that maybe she called out to God in that final moment as she saw her death approaching in her aloneness and she is in Heaven now.
Justice...where is the justice with something like this? What does it look like or sound like? Does it have a face or is our image unrecognizable as it looks back from a steamed up mirror ? I guess we all ask that question in our lives every so often but I pray that it isn't because you have lost someone.
May the light of God's truth shine upon your face so that the shadow of loss and pain may fall behind,
Glady
