Summertime is here!

Hello everyone. It has been a while since my last post. I had my computer in the shop for 1 1/2 months so I was unable to write anything. I felt a little anxious because I have been submitting stories to "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series and a story & poem has been published and I was itching to let loose on more. They are just short stories but it is a dream come true for me. I have always been happiest and secure when there was a pen in hand. Thank goodness for computers though because it makes the writing so much easier. When I am finished the material I email it off to the Publishers of Chicken Soup.

Why did I start writing for Chicken Soup? I was given the first edition as a gift when they first came out many years ago. I fell in love with the type of material written because it was my style of writing so I began to submit my stories. Chicken Soup has now grown to so many titled books that I have lost count. I highly recommend to you to buy them as gifts to friends and family. They will not be disappointed.

Here we are in British Columbia on the second day of summer and it is going to rain, rain, rain all weekend! Please don't get me wrong...British Columbia, Canada is a very beautiful country with each season in it's glory. The mountains and green trees against blue sky takes your breath away. Our pristine lakes are perfect for fishing and there are many wonderful resorts to make your stay comfortable. We also have many beautiful beaches too. Yes, we have hot summer weather and lots of bathers soaking up the rays. Children laugh and play while parents read a book on the blanket. At night you can walk along the beach and listen to the sidewalk cafes full of lovers as they savor the moment of hand feeding each other lobster and listen to the slow hip moving music. Love is in the air! A full moon against the sky and baby stars dotting the blue blanket heavens makes for a wonderful ending of a long day of fun living.

Yes, we have it all. The winters are also a favorite of mine. The crisp white snow that crunches under my boots as I take one step after another brings me back to my childhood when I used to make paths by walking sideways with my feet close together. I was so proud of those paths. To me they were beautiful. I don't know why, I just thought they were clean, organized...and mine. When I was on my own with my children grown and gone I did pretty much everything for myself but my brother would cut me some beautiful wood for my wonderful wood stove. I would haul it in from the shed to the house and I even chopped some when I was out or if the logs were to big. The shed was a good ways away from the back door so when it snowed I got my boots on and excitedly opened the door and started stamping the snow down side by side to make a path. WOW! What a wonderful feeling.

Yes, we experience all the seasons here and I thank God for it. I love it all. Mostly, I
appreciate it. It is going to rain all weekend and I am going to enjoy it because after that it is goinf to get hot and I don't have airconditioning!

Thank you for visiting my blog. I would love to hear a comment from you if you have time.

Blessings to you,
Glady

"Mother's Day in Heaven"

Whenever May nears I always seems to miss Mom more than ever. I don't know whether it is because of Mother's Day approaching or whether I am reminded of 19 years ago Mom started losing weight and by July (my birthday) we were told that Mom had inoperable cancer and she had 3 months to live. This picture of her was taken about 1 month before she left us. She had only had her portrait taken twice in her life and she said, "Glad, I don't have any nice recent pictures of me so that you can give them out after I am gone. I want people to remember me in a happier moment" It was a very difficult picture taking session. I did her hair, put make-up on her, put my earrings on her, and she wanted to wear her one good dress that she saved for special occassions only. Mom smiled her cute little self conscious smile and I cried behind the camera lens. She didn't seem to notice...I guess she had other things on her mind.

Even through her illness, there was times of laughter. We always laughed a lot in our family (once the crazy dysfunction was gone.) Mom came from a family of 15 siblings and her brothers & sisters, neices & nephews, and friends came to say goodbye. I guess many of them thought we would be a house of gloom but once they walked in and saw the whole room filled with flowers and people all over the place, drinking coffee and laughing and reminiscing about days gone by, I am sure their hearts were grateful for the sweet memory that they would leave with.

As soon as we found out that Mom would be leaving us we all decided that Mom would move in with me & my family. Mom wanted to sleep in the livingroom because she didn't want to "miss anything". She told me that she wanted laughter and she wanted flowers while she was alive so that she could enjoy them. Every day and every night there was someone new to come stay with Mom. I was her main caregiver but she enjoyed her sisters coming to care for her. Many wonderful meals were made. It was like a constant reunion but except for the odd person spotted crying, (like me when I snuck outside and hid under the balcony to have a cry in private when the pressure became too much). One would never have guessed that there was a dying woman inside that lovely blue house with the white picket fence and HUGE garden full of fresh vegetables, herbs & flowers. Mom was a wonderful woman. We didn't always see eye to eye when I was a teenager but I loved her so much. When I became a Mother I fell in love with my Mother in a very special and beautiful way. I finally recognized the pain in her eyes that had seen way too much in her life. Yes, she was a real warrior in eyes. For all that she had experience in her life I would have thrown in the towel had it been me. Her deepest pain began with the death of her first born, Doreen, at ten years old. Doreen died of a brain tumor. I cannot imagine the sheer pain in her heart as she watched her baby slowly slip away. Mom...I am so sorry that you began your marriage with a death. Mom & Dad had 6 of us, (including Doreen). My sister was one year younger than Doreen. Can you imagine the pain and confusion she experienced? After she realized in her 9 year old innocent mind that her best friend, her sister, was not coming back because she was up in Heaven now, she used to go outside worried that Doreen had not eaten so she would throw bread upwards in hopes that Doreen would get it.

I was 2 years old when Doreen left us so I do not remember her. But, I grew up with the pain of her death. My parents turned to sources to drown the pain and often there were tears or angry words about Doreen and her untimely, too soon death. There was a lot of blame toward God. Later on in life they came to realize that God does not cause disease.

Soon, Mom's lung cancer traveled to her brain leaving one side paralyzed. I had to do everything for Mom after that. Bathing, dressing, delicate situations, brushing teeth, giving medications...and on and on. I loved it. I wanted to give to Mom what she gave to me as I grew up. Mom also told me that she wanted me to take care of her and that she would never be alone. I vowed to her that she would have these wishes. The hospital staff & Dr.s & I were on first name basis. It was in a community of 12,000 so you pretty much got to know everyone. Many of the Dr.s would treat Mom or check on her when our Dr. was not available. We had the Palliative Care room reserved for us because instead of putting her into emergency when she had her 3 seizures they would just wheel her into her room and tend her there. Mom did not want machines so each time we entered the hospital I did not know if it would be the last time.

When it neared the end, there was my sister, my aunt & me. The nurses were in and out all night. They had gotten to know this sweet little lady who never complained and they loved her. - During the last month of her life I would put Mom in her bed for an afternoon nap and I would lay ontop of the blankets and hold her and sing along to her little gospel tape. Without my knowledge the nurses would all come to peek at us and cry and whisper to each other..."Her Mom mothered her in the beginning of her life and now she mother's her Mom at the end of her life." Yes, I felt blessed that I was able to comfort Mom as best I could. I couldn't get enough of her because I knew that soon I would not have her anymore. - I crawled into bed with Mom and began to sing and speak to her. She was in a coma. God spoke to my heart and said..."Give her permission to go." So I did. "Mom, it's okay. You don't need to hold on anymore because it hurts too much. Let go of the pain, Mom. We will follow you, but for now cross that beautiful stream with the cool running water and meet Jesus. Your little girl is waiting for you, Mom" Soon afterwards, her breathing slowed steadily...gently...and she said goodbye with one last beautiful breath. Do you know that that room felt full of warm and tingly energy. It was like there were Angels everywhere. Even the nurses felt it. Three nurses and the female Dr. my sister, my Aunt, and myself were present as Mom gently slipped away.

I haven't been able to stop writing since. What that has to do with anything, I don't know, but it opened some sort of door. Maybe my faith opened widely after that but it took me a while to truly give my life over to the Lord.

In 12 days it will be Mother's Day. Let's honor our Mother's with something that will make a deep connection between you because one day one of you will not be present on Mother's Day. Take advantage of this special day, ladies because being a Mother is something God gave us as a very special gift. For those of us that don't have a Mother anymore, remember that we will see them again but you can still continue to honor your Mother by remembering her openly. Buy yourself some flowers and place them in view for yourself to see and say...

"Happy Mother's Day to us Mom."

"Dreams"

Do you ever wonder what dreams mean? I have so many crazy dreams that I become overwhelmed and weary trying to figure them out. Mostly though, my dreams are not pleasant visions. I most often than not, will awaken frightened or filled with a dreadful expectantcy. Last night, I was in a vision of my family & I being in a lovely house with some sort of a reunion going on. I was apprehensive of letting anyone come or go through the back door though because there was a grizzly bear there, laying on the grass...just waiting. At one point, I had a toddler in my arms and Mr. Grizz attacked us and wanted the baby and I had to fight him. I woke up screaming as I was punching my free fist ontop of his head. Most upsetting start to my day, that is for sure. A few mornings ago I dreamed of a sniper outside our home and rippling off the walls and furniture were his bullets. What's that all about!? Why do we have these kinds of dreams? Is there something in our life that we need to take care of? That we need to talk about to a trusted source? It amazes me because during my waking hours I feel so happy inside. I feel content with my life and where I am in my faith, (although I would like to grow more in my faith), so...why the corny dreams?

It does begin to affect the health eventually though. Even though my spirit seems healthy during the daytime hours, I have noticed a dip in my health issues. I do suffer from many health ailments like Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, IBS, Diverticulitis & Depression, but, I just feel weak & more tired than usual. My Pastor recommends praying over my dreams before bed and I must confess that I have not been doing so lately. I will get back on it tonight that is for sure.

Life can be so stressful and we seem to get caught up in the daily ritual of sleep; get-up; go to work; come home; eat; sleep. We forget to stop for a moment and embrace our very existance and be thankful for our lives. No wonder we are stressed...no wonder we dream the dreams that we do. Our poor little brains are working overtime trying to catch up on the multitasking of everyday existence. I received a lovely email the other day about a life in the "dirty thirties"...the Depression. It was a lazy pictured message with music. It described how poor life was, how they had to eat what they planted, they didn't have cars to travel, nor telephones to interrupt dinner time with the family or bible reading around the fire after dinner...and they were never happier. I felt such comfort and peace when I viewed this email. Maybe it was not as "lovely" as that for all people but obviously for some it was. I know that I do not lead as much a fast laned life as I did in 2001 when I was multitasker with 11 hour days, and I truly feel for those who must. It is even painful for me to make my own bed now, but, I cannot imagine myself out in the working world as I was before. I believe that is why I am where I am now. Also, I did not work alongside my depression years ago and I never talked to anyone about it so it got out of hand and I became bodily ill. Maybe my dreams would be sweet now if I had taken better care of "how" I took care of myself.

As I have stressed before in other postings on this site...share your heart with someone, smell the life that is in the air, listen to the choir amidst the trees...and laugh often. Life is so precious and you only have one on this earth so enjoy it. Forgive those who need forgiveness because you set yourself free more so than you set them free. Make a call to someone you haven't said "I love you" to in a while...or if ever, and say those three beautiful, war breaking, encouraging, and powerful words and just watch what greatness comes back to you. Your spirit will feel so enriched from this simple little act from your heart.

Even if our bodies begin to fail...our spirits can be as young as the first day they were created. I may not be able to make my own bed without a lot of struggle but I can reach out to you, the reader, and share with you my thoughts, my opinions, and pray that your spirit will be affected by even one sentence in any one of these postings. I can pray for you and I will listen.

I am only just a prayer away, today, tomorrow...and always

Glady

"My Miracle Cat"

All of my life I had been allergic to cats. As I got older the allergies became so severe that even if I stood next to a person who held their cat that morning I would have a fierce attack and have to head home from where I was and go right to bed with medication. This really prevented me from going places and it was a real pain to some people. Some of the cat owners would have preferred to put me outside instead of the cat...(if I dared go to their home at all). And then their were the people who did not believe I had it as bad as I would claim. It was a very trying time competing with the cats...most times the cats won. I am sure they would snicker a meow when they knew they wouldn't be thrown out because "she" decided to stay home. Sometimes I could have sworn that they were laughing at me!
Then one day a little "angel" bearing a miracle upon his fur came just for me! I was dealing with a great many issues in my life and this one night I received a phone call that needed attention immediately so I called my friend who lived in the same trailer court and asked if she could come with me. I waited outside for her at the end of my driveway. From the shadows came this raggedy old tom cat. My heart leaped at the sight of him because over the years I had become terrified of animals, but mostly cats, because I new what they could do to me. I shooshed at him to go away but he insisted on following me back and forth as I paced while awaiting my ride. No matter what I did, he continued to pace with me. I shrugged it off.
When I returned, I went to the back door and there he was...sitting at the threshold! Well...I sure told him off! He didn't run like I thought he would but at least he got up and went down the back steps, stopped and looked back at me with sad eyes and disappeared into the night.

The next morning he returned and the morning after that as well. My neighbor & I were outside talking "across the fence" and the cat mosied over to me and just looked up at me without saying a word. My friend had a fit and yelled for the cat to shoo but he ignored her and continued to look up at me. At that moment God whispered into my heart..."Touch this cat. You will not be allergic to it." I reached down and for the first time in 40 years I felt the silky fur of an animal. I was overcome with a mixture of feelings and I began to cry.

I took him in and aptly named him "Angel". We were inseparable. He didn't talk at all except when it was bedtime. Yup...he slept with me. Some months previous I had heart trouble and was in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks until they could do the tests I needed. I had become very weak from it for quite some time and it was as though Angel knew when I needed rest and he would sound the alarm until I listened and off we'd go. He slept curled around my knees. I couldn't believe how utterly secure that felt. Sometimes I would cry and thank God for this wonderful gift He sent me.

I have many funny stories of my Angel and if you want to hear any please leave a post. All too soon, my Angel took sick and died in my arms. He had Cardio Myopathy which is heart problems . I only had him for 3 short months but those three months healed me in many ways. I still ache when I think of him and his total non-judgemental love for me and I get a painful lump in my throat, but, Angel opened the door for another cat into our lives..."Xena" is my sons cat. What a beauty. You see, my healing did not only involve me but my kids have never had a pet because of Mom's allergies. They are adults now and it is a real blessing for them that now they too can enjoy the love & devotion that a pet can bring.

God Blesses All Creatures Great & Small
"Blessings"

"A Poem"

“Wine Cooler”
My trip back home was long awaited
I crossed off every day
The bus ride there was a delight
Air-condition, movies, back I lay.
Now this is the good way to travel
No driving to worry about
It even has a “potty” in back
In case I’m not in drought.
I looked outside at passing trees
And thought about my bags
“Maybe I should have packed a coat
Cause all I brought were summer rags”.
The bus did stop at our roads end
I saw my cousins there
We embraced and I exclaimed
“It sure is hot and fair!”
We did things every day out side
And I melted bit by bit
My cousin said “She is tough”
“She’ll get over it!”
Our final day there was a tour
An age old winery place
It ended in the basement cooler
Even then I could feel my face!
I hid behind a stranger big guy
For if my cousin saw me
He would have made a spectacle
For all the world to see.

I could feel his eyes on me
I saw the look of laughter
Hear it comes, get out quick
Or I’ll hear it ever-after
It’s too late, I heard a voice
It bellowed in the basement
“Only you, my cousin girl
Could HOT-FLASH in cool encasement!”
Every single person there looked around to see
Who it was with Menopause
And bright red face…that’s me!
All I could do was smile back
At all the wine tour eyes
Silence filled the echo room
I must say something wise
But mental-pause tip-toed in
I couldn’t find a word
Instead, my mouth betrayed me big
My words were like lemon curd!
“It’s my menopause you see,
The heat has done me in.
My cousin put me on the spot
And now I’ll need some gin!”
Up the stairs I climbed as quick
As my swollen legs could go,
And in the wake of flying skirts
They laughed a “HO HO HO!”

by

Glady

Does This Blog Interest You?

Well, I must say that I am a little discouraged with this blog. I have just visited other blogs just to see how others have set up their sites and what they write about and I feel a little overwhelmed with the intelligence & experience they have penned in. Hmmm...I feel a little silly about the "greenhorn experiences" that I have written about and I will pray on whether I shall continue this blog or not. Any advice would be accepted dearly.

Bless you today, tomorrow & always

"A Pill Won't Help My Hurt"

Wouldn't it be nice if we could swallow a Tylenol for our heartaches? It would be so easy wouldn't it. But, unfortunately, that is not the way it is. When I think back of heartbreaks and how truly raw they made me as they tore at my inner being where love is formed, I cringe on the memory. How many times I thought my heart would cease to beat and my breath would still forever. I felt incredibly numb with the heartpain that fulfilled my chest. I actually kneeled while grasping myself as though all feeling left my legs and there was no strength in them to hold me up any longer and my tears were like a river flowing from my eyes. I thought I would just quit...just not care about tomorrow, whether it comes or not. Then, I curled up into the fetal position and as exhaustion surrounded me like a blanket, sleep came over me.
The next morning I was awakened by birds singing a melody I'd never heard before. Someone was mowing their lawn and the sound swooshed my memories back to when I was a child and I was playing skip rope on pavement, the sound of my black patten shoes scraped loudly and proudly against the sparsely graveled cement. Neighbours chatting made me think of my Mom and Aunts when they were together. In the distance I thought I heard my son and my daughter playing together in their youth. In her little girl's voice, my daughter was talking her big brother's ear off as she always did. Her brother was her hero.
Suddenly, I realized that I had not even thought of why I had slept in my clothes. I did not have the pain inside me that I thought I would surely die from, but now it was only an ache. Seeing and hearing all of these memories made my soul come to life rather than grieving something that had died. Life was so much more important than the loss of something on this earth because if I lost it then it wasn't mine to begin with. I do not mean the loss of a loved one, that is a whole different story, but, I am referring to a relationship mostly, I guess. I am relating to my experiences. As I have stated before in previous postings, I have had 2 failed marriages and two drastic relationships. I felt like such a failure after the last one a little over four years ago. But then, through my wonderful Christian Counselor I came to realise that it was not only me but it was also the "choice" I made because of where my self-esteem was at. My Christianity has been my bow & arrow of life now and I feel stronger now than I have ever been when I was married or with someone in my life. I am not saying that I wouldn't like to marry again one day, but, if I do, it will be God's choice for me...not mine. I am just sharing that I couldn't find a pill to help my heartbreak when it was present, but, I sure learned a great deal from it's pain. And once the clouds disappeared...it wasn't so bad. Thinking about all of the beauties in my life brought me back to earth and made me reconnect with reality that this is only one life I have here on this earth and even though there is pain I want to live through them and learn and become strong as I recover from each blow. I never, ever, walk through them alone because God is always with me.

Take Heart & Know That After The Storm There Is A Rainbow Of Beautiful Colors Waiting Just For You To Enjoy