Meeting Kaylanna

WOW!...meeting this little darling yesterday made my year! I didn't expect her to be so petite and her voice is what you expect in "little girls voices", a little high and angelic. She allowed me to hug her and then she handed ME a gift! Imagine that...she has all of this battle of cancer behind her that she has endured and yet 8 more weeks left to be fed radiation through a tube that has been inserted into her tiny little chest. It is amazing how she and her Mommy & Granma have come through all of this so strongly and positively. I am in awe of her. God has a purpose for this little one. Many may be angry at God for allowing this to happen but God does not create illness in those He loves...but, He will use it to help others. He is with Kaylanna, I recognized Him in her eyes.

After we were well on our way of getting to know each other, Kaylanna pulled up her shirt to show me her "shunt" that is inserted just under her skin. "Touch it", she said in her teeny voice. It was hard and looked square. She then explained the shunt to me.

"See, they give me a poke in there and then it goes all the way up my neck and in my heart" She traced the hard tube with her baby pure fingers and there was not one hint of fear or anxiety. I choked back a sob. The lump in my throat was painful. If only I had even a thumbfull of all of the courage she has, I would be a better person for it.

Kaylanna, her Mommy Miran, and Granma Patty, are leaving Dec.29th. to Boston for a two month stay for radiation treatment. Her little bald head is just growing back now. It felt a bit rough as I gently ran my hand over it. I quickly asked God to be with her every moment, every day, every night. Please join me in praying that she will not endure any pain or nausea while receiving this foreign substance into her little body. Her tumor has shrunk 80% but we are claiming a miracle! Yes...a miracle. Her story will be heard by many and it will give those who are afraid, courage. Those who are weak, strong. And those who want to give up...hope.

Please, if you need encouragement today, visit Kaylanna's Face Book Group under "cutie Kaylanna".

Women Unite

http://www.christianwomenonline.net/Blogroll

""Christmas of Pain & Joy"

Most often we think of Christmas as a time of fun, laughter, giving, receiving, gaining weight because of temptation, family togetherness and to some recognizing that the Christ Child was born unto us. To others it can be a very painful time of year.

This December 25 th. my cousin lost her daughter a few years back. It naturally devastated the family and it affected those who didn't even know Kora-Lee.

She was just beginning her life and was happy and in love with Matt. It was evening and the lake was frozen over and many years had found this spot across the frozen waters a great place to hang out, build a big bonfire and feel good to be alive in this beautiful country. Kora & Matt were a bit late in leaving the trail of skidoos. The snow was coming down in silent big fat flakes and as they began their ride it was like a surreal vision of white. They slowly made their way along the well worn path around the lake when all of a sudden their skidoo plunged into icy waters. The gang of friends became worried when Matt & Kora did not show so they back- tracked only to find broken ice and tracks that came to an end in the snow.

The search went on in the freezing cold weather...no matter what. Many, many people showed up for the search besides S & R. The family almost lived on the lake in prayerful hopes of finding their little girl who had just begun her womanhood. Matts family were right alongside, bonding with the grief that encircled these two families.

39 days later they found Kora's body. Imagine pulling yor little girl from this icy grave. My heart still chokes when I think of this unimaginable pain and horror that they endured. On the 55 th. day they found Matt.

For my cousin, husband, oldest daughter & Kora's twin, Christmas Day is a painful memory of that part of their lives they wish they could forget. Matts family will also suffer all of their lives from these memories. Please remember dear people that what you have today we must cherish for we never know what tomorrow will bring. Live fully, givingly, sweetly, and happily. Give up all the junk that prevents you from being completely happy and healthy. Today is the day to begin the first day of the rest of your life!

It was made known to me by a friend about a sweet little four year old girl who practically lives next door to me. It is her Grandma & Grandpa's home and she is there a great deal of the time. She was diagnosed with a rare stomache cancer that's found in young children. She had become juandiced last January 07 so she was rushed off to Children's Hospital and treated and diagnosed. She began a barrage of tests, needles, many, many blood transfusions, stomach drains, feeding tubes & chemotherapy which caused this sweetheart to lose her baby fine hair...oh gosh...need I go on! I can't imagine how her Mom & Grandparents cope let alone this precious little angel. Our town has had many fundraising events because of the treatments she needs. The latest being a fundraiser for a trip to Boston for radiation because it is not available in Canada. Kaylanna & her mom Miran must stay for 8 weeks. They are joyful, even though Kaylanna must endure yet more rounds of tests and radiation, because Kaylanna's tumor is shrinking. I don't even know her but I am totally joyful over this latest news. You will find her on Face Book in "Groups".

So with each breath we take, with each hug we give and receive and each time we are with friends, family, or passers -by...be a ray of sunlight in their lives. Show them your goodness and inner beauty from within you. Let this Christmas be the best Christmas you have ever had. Not just from buying gifts but by giving of yourself in love.

I am praying that all sad memories can be put aside for awhile on Christmas Day and that we will all be grateful for our health...and our life.

If you find the spirit moving you to help Kaylanna & her Mom go to Boston please make a donation to

Kaylanna

The Bank of Montreal

224 th. & Lougheed Hwy.

Maple Ridge, BC

Christmas Memories

WOW...forty-two more days before Christmas Day! It is the time of year when people (at least most people) are filled with joy and excitement. Women are gathering their thoughts on paper to bring together an array of food upon the dining room table to feed her loved ones. Men are wondering what to buy the wife on Christmas Eve, and children...oh the children...they are what makes Christmas so excitiing. I remember when my kids were small and how my heart melted when I saw the belief shining in their eyes that Santa really did come! Those were beautiful days and are just a memory now. My kids are all grown up and things have really changed. The one thing that has not changed though is that they have not forgotten those days and that they see the importance of what being a family is.

Some people are not as fortunate as we are. The economy is at a low and it is difficult to get by on meager wages. Believe me...I know from experience. Some are not able to work, and some are alone. I never did like that word...alone. I wrote about it during the illness of my mother before she lost her battle to cancer after three long months. Later on, my children & I always tried to reach out to others, especially at that time of year. We would buy groceries and deliver them anonomously or donate money to a church. Some times there were places asking for a wrapped toy for a boy or girl. I remember well the meek Christmases we had as I grew up. One Christmas there were four wool socks hanging up with an orange and some candy inside. I was happy with it because it was something we didn't get often. Fresh fruit & candy were a real special treat. The socks were my Dad's. I recognized them from when my Mom would wash them by hand and hang them to dry. The smell of them were so clean and crisp from Mom freeze drying them and then bringing them in to thaw. I can still see myself in those days as though it were yesterday.

Later on in years we did get a present, but, I can't help thinking that right now someone is in need. The thought of Christmas coming is a sadness to them. Gosh...it breaks my heart to think that a child may go without. I wish I could save the world...but I can't. I can only pray that someone will outstretch their hand of friendship, kinship, and help someone they know who needs it, especially with Christmas coming.

What is your favorite Christmas holiday memory? Isn't it wonderful that we have been given this gift of memory so that we may remember wonderful times with family. I LOVE walking in the snow. I love the sound it makes as the snow crunches under my boots. I try looking into as many snowflakes as I can just to see if they are all different. I love the peaceful sound the white blanket brings. Christmas...how wonderful...how awesome!

Food! My comfort food for Christmas is mashed turnips, coleslaw, mashed potato, (my Mom's kind) & she always had pickled beets. For dessert there was always Lemon Pie, Apple Pie & Pumpkin Pie. This was much further down the road of my life. We would all pitch in and split the costs so that it wouldn't be so hard on Mom. My brothers were wonderful when it came to buying things for Mom. They loved her dearly. My sister & I would help Mom in the kitchen while all the little ones were running around our feet. The three of us would talk and laugh and whisper as we peeled, chopped & stuffed. How I miss those days. Since Mom has passed on it just isn't the same anymore. We have all gone our own ways and busy in our own lives.

I am already getting ready for my little Christmas time with my daughter, her husband and my son. A far cry from what I used to have with all of the energy, noise & constant loving chatter. My little family & I celebrate quietly. It gladdens my heart because now I have begun my own little family tradition...and we are happy with it. One gift, one meal, one dessert, and lots of laughs.

I used to have an appetizer party in rememberance of my Mom on her birthday which is December 15 th. Since my brother's suicide I couldn't host them anymore. My heart was and still is broken and I just didn't have the desire to continue this gathering anymore. Oddly enough, my brother's birthday is on December 16 th.! They also died 4 days apart but with 12 years between. This year I felt my heart change. I discussed it with my daughter and I decided that this year I was going to have a appetizer party. It wouldn't be as flamboyant as my previous parties were because of my strict budget but I will do what I can the best I can! My daughter is my "right hand girl" and she is helping me prepare everything. I used to be in catering, and cooking and baking were my first loves (so to speak). I used to put on candlelit dinner parties for 25 people without even one thought. Wow...have I ever lost my touch! My hands cause me a lot of grief with their arthritic pain and restrictions but I manage. Here is the menu that we have that is little cost, simple , and easy to make.

Super Nacho & Tortilla chips; The Keg Stuffed Mushrooms; Italian Deep Dish Zucchini Pie; Bacon wrapped mini corns; Vegetable Tray & Uncle Dan's Dill Dip.

Please email me some of your ideas for appies if you feel the spirit move you...0:) Sharing recipes is also a hobby of mine.

This menu is subject to change. I am a woman and we do tend to change our minds a lot. Right ladies...0:)Blessings to you all and get ready for "sharing, caring, & faring"

Glady

"I Can Smell Winter In The Air"

The days have shortened now as the weather cycle turns to a chilly evening air. Ice is being scraped off of car windows and the heat is being turned up to a comfortable level. How blessed we are that we have the safety of our homes, warm beds, and hot comforting food to eat. Every day I give thanks for these beautiful gifts. I long ago stopped worrying about the things I wanted and instead I am grateful for all I have.

I love winter. Most of my married life, we lived in places where the snow falls were blindingly deep. At one time, in Terrace British Columbia, the snow was five feet deep, so when the roads were plowed, it was like driving into a snow tunnel! The tires were silent on the white packed roads and it was a feeling of awesome and unexplainable peace. Walking in it as the snow fell in huge fluffy flakes was as though the heavens opened up a feather pillow and let loose the down filled stuffing. My children loved being out in it except for the fact that I bound them up so warmly and tightly that it was almost impossible for my four year old daughter to stand on her own while mummified in her "snow snoot" (as she called it in her little girl talk). Her brother got quite a laugh out of watching her fall backward after he would stand her up again. What beautiful memories. Our bodies may grow old but our lovely memories stay fresh and alive within our hearts.

How about you? Do you enjoy winter? Do you enjoy giving yourself a day where you need not do anything and crawl back into bed with a hot coffee or tea and a good book? It is nice and healthy to treat yourself to "a doing nothing day". Life is so short and we never seem to slow down because today's day and age won't allow it. But, we can take a second look at it from others who have suffered consequences from not slowing down. I have never been very healthy and so I do and must take time out but I know people who have been healthy, active, eating right, but on the go a great deal, and they have had heart attacks or other health problems. So, how about it...crawl into bed with a bean bag, hot drink of tea and a good book. We may be in for a long, cold winter, so stock up on "chicken soup" (either to read or to eat)and snuggle up.

Happy Resting & Reading,

Glady

What Does Autumn Mean To You?

Wow...where did the summer breezes & warm kisses from the sun go? It just seems like yesterday that I was outside scrambling for shade from the burning rays. Are we ever really satisfied though? When it is hot, we want cold. When it is rain we want cloudless skies, and when it snows we want beaches. We seem to forget that each season has its reason for being there. We here in Canada are surrounded by lush green mountains, fresh clean air, and fresh water. I cannot speak for other places because I have not been anywhere but Mexico. It was hot & beautiful there and I had arrived on February 25 th. so it was a welcome change from the very wet and heavy snow that had covered us that particular year, but coming home was a reminder of how I could not live in heat year round. I am a very seasonal girl and I would miss my snow topped mountains, rushing rivers, forests and the breathtaking colors of Autumn.

My daughter & I were walking yesterday to the supermarket and we found ourselves stopping and picking up fallen leaves from a maple tree. We drank in the colors of bright oranges swirling amid red & brown. Perfect for pressing, we carried them home carefully. Would we use them? I don't know. But they were there just in case we came up with an idea for a pressed leaf gift. We could not pass up the chance at marking that moment in time that we shared together with the chilly autumn wind whipping pieces of hair against our cheeks. I looked over at my baby girl (even though she is a married woman) who was bent over choosing the perfect leaves for her little collection and I was reminded of a time when she was a little girl, picking leaves for me. How the seasons had slipped by so swiftly and yet, here we were, once again, picking flowers & leaves to be pressed. I thank God for all of the seasons that have passed to fill me with the remembrances of being with her like this. I relate many of my memories to seasonal moments. I am a very blessed woman to have had a son & a daughter to collect pages and pages of season filled memories that will keep me in warmth through the ages of my life.

We have shared many a "tom turkey" dinners together. I remember when we were all a family and we sat formally at a huge dining room table with loved ones filling 25 seats. The turkey was stuffed and roasted by my former father in law, and it was done so to perfection. I have never tasted a more golden, melt in your mouth turkey. They always saved Darlene and I the wings. Oh those crisp wings! We really forgot our manners at those times and amongst the clinking of crystal and scraping of silver upon Mom's best china, you would hear...CCCRRRUUUNNCH! NIBBLE...MOAN...CCCRRRUUNCH! The family would stop and look at the both of us, (who were completely oblivious to the fact that we were being watched intensely)...but we wouldn't have cared less anyway. Yes, I miss those wings. I miss those dinners. The brussel sprouts in bacon sauce & carrots au gratin were a regular vegetable entree'. Home made dill pickles , canned beets, sweet mustard pickles, & bread & butter pickles were also a beautiful addition to our turkey dinners. All of these had been canned during the summer by our own little hands. Darlene & I used to can about 30 jars each of each type of pickle. Hot and tiring work but so worth it. For dessert over coffee we always had an extravagant show of beauty that would have pleased the Queen.

Now that, because of unfortunate circumstances, we no longer have these memorable dinners and gatherings, my son Jim, daughter Danielle, & her husband Felix, have lovely intimate dinners together, trying to prevent that burning "family candle" from flickering out.

Autumn...the time of year when all things die? No, they are just sleeping. They are constantly living through cycles of seasons so that when it is time to poke through the dark earth or sprout a bright new green leaf, we will once again face the heavens, smell the air and feel the breezes and give thanks for another fall, winter, spring, and summer. We have lived another season. We have gathered more memories for our handbag of age so that when needed ,we can open it...and remember that fall isn't about things dying...it's about living.

Glady

September 11

"We Remember"

Today, I awoke to clear skies and a cool room and cozy bed. I rolled out of my little nest and went to wash the sleepiness out of my thoughts. I had not even thought about anything but medications & coffee! Toast would come later, and if I was too lazy to pop two slices of bread in the toaster I would pour milk into the bowl of Corn Flakes. I was anxious to get to my computer and finish a story that I had begun last night. As I parked my hinny on the now well worn office chair and flicked on "my baby", the date 911 stared boldly back at me. My heart sank.

My thoughts went immediately to the familes that are left behind. I choked up with remembrance of the utter and unbelievable chaos that enshrouded the beautiful city. Watching those towers fall was a wide awake nightmare ! I remembered where I was, what I was doing and who I was with, when this tragedy took place. My brother Randy & I were stunned into silence. There were no words that could have been said that would make any sense. All we could hear was a broken sob and then I realized it was from my own mouth.

This morning, those families who are still mourning , shared heart felt stories. The ones that really touched me deeply were the children. Some of them were so openly distraught they couldn't speak. These children, spouses & families must live with this nightmare for the rest of their life because it will be a tradegy the world will never forget. I prayed this morning for those families and I prayed for myself that I would never, ever forget how very blessed I am and that I should hold my tongue the next time I complain about something. I cried off and on for the rest of the day. I almost choked when I was eating supper while watching the news. I was eating corn on the cob. A preteen came on and was crying as was her brother. She tried bravely to answer the News Reporters question but she just couldn't do it. When I saw this, I sucked in air quickly in sorrow and a piece of corn went down my throat and I ended up choking until it was passed. Later, I thought about how frightened I was when it happened and then I compared it to how those "heroes and sheroes " felt when they saw that building coming down. Oh dear God...please help these families and countries heal.

I long for peace and harmony. I pray that we all will never forget all of the people who have died needlessly . I pray that we all will strive for peace, and love one another without predjudism or judgement. I pray that you will sleep gently and peacefully this night. The sky will be clear and blue tomorrow upon awakening if you want it to be...even if it is raining.

To peace...

Glady

"Chicken Soup Stories"

"Hey Linda...did ya hear 'bout that there book called "Chicken Soup for the Menopausal Soul?"

"What? Speak up, girl, can't hear ya'. I blew my ear drums out while snortin' from laughing so hard at this new book I'm reading called, "Chicken Soup for the Menopausal Soul! Have you heard of it?"

Not only have I bought them and read them, I am now being published in them. Two of the stories just happen to be in the "Menopausal Soul Edition" I have also been recently published in the "Chicken Soup for the Brother & Sister Soul" If you have a story to tell it should be heard. Give Chicken Soup a try or maybe just go buy one of many of the books and see how you like them. I guarantee that you will not be disappointed. There are so many, many, titles that you could choose from.

I had been going through some particularily tough times about 10 years ago and someone bought me a "Chicken Soup for the Soul". So many of the stories were so much like my own situation and I took comfort in advice, and, maybe it was just the knowledge that I shared it with someone, even though we did not know know each other. Wow! It was a turn around for me. Out of all of the self-help books on my shelf, Chicken Soup really hit more innings with me.

Then the newer topics came out and with each new title I could relate to it. They are still looking for stories for "Chicken Soup for Life's Most Embarrassing Moments", and "Chicken Soup for the Do-It-Yourselfer's Soul" Go on...give it a try.

Actually, writing for Chicken Soup has helped me become not only more confident in my writing but also in my personality. Knowing that I may, just may, help someone with my story, or better yet, make them laugh, lifted me up from the mire I had been stuck in all of my life. Thank you Chicken Soup owners, editors, publishers and contributors, for being a part in changing how I feel about myself as a new writer.

"Keep on scratching up the dirt in the chicken coop to find more stories!"

With many stories to come...

Glady

Where Is The Justice?

In Memory Of Darlene

August 24 th, 2004, Darlene was on her way home from afternoon shift. It was a quiet night and the drive home was long. She couldn't wait to get home to her comfy bed and cuddle up to her hubby and sleep peacefully. As she pulled out from the stop sign she saw the vehicle that was speeding toward her and it was not slowing down for his stop sign. She braked and skidded to veer out of his way... but he hit her hard. She died instantly. She was a daughter, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, sister and friend. Her laughter nor her tears would never be seen or heard again. Her extrodinary talents in the kitchen as an accomplished cook would never be tasted again. Her grandchildren would never feel her hugs and kisses or have Grandma read anymore stories as they cuddled up to her at bedtime.

She was a 911 Operator. Her job was a high stress job but she handled it with an ease of professional strength. Darlene was my former sister-in-law and during the 15 years of being family, we were great friends. I loved her dearly. She was strong and serious yet she had a wonderful quirky sense of humor. When she and I were together we really made family gatherings memorable with the crazy things we would do. After my marriage was over with her brother, we sadly lost touch. I always grieved losing my ex husband's family because, once, they were my family too and I loved them deeply. It took a long time to move forward from some hurtful words between Darlene and I and I will always regret them, now so more than ever.

Her sudden death in her young age of early 50's was a great blow to many, many people. It will be 3 years this August and the Court Case is finally making a decision on the punishment for the youth who killed her. He was drunk and speeding. This was not his first offense in drunk driving and speeding. His lawyer is trying to get him off because he admitted his wrong doing even though the Prosecuter testified that the accused told him quote unquote "She was just an old lady" ! Does that sound like he should not be punished for his wrong doing? He may only get 2 years and then the loss of his license for 5 years. What kind of a laugh is that! I am so sick that her death may not be able to prevent someone else from being hurt. I am so angry that it was unneccessary that she was taken so violently from her family...from her life. It just isn't fair. My heart breaks every time I hear the pain in my daughter's voice when she tells me about the outcome of the court case or the Coroner's report.

What can we do to speak out to those who have habitual records of speeding or drunk driving? Where can someone go to seek help for these offenses so that they won't repeat? How can we be a bridge to prevention because obviously there needs to be some sort of "connection to prevention". Isn't there enough troubles in the world already that we have to fight drunk drivers and speeders too? If you think you are one of these...please go for help. Don't be on the list of taking someone's life because you thought you were okay to drive.

My heart aches openly as I write these words. Maybe I shouldn't voice my opinion on this case but it was too close to home not to say anything. People, please...have a look at your life. is it the life you want or does your heart desire a change? Reach out...or pray. Call a friend. Don't grieve alone. Don't be angry alone. If you feel that you can't trust yourself, go for help because the consequences are far worse than admitting you need help, not just in drinking and driving but in other areas too like depression, anger, abuse, or anything that you are worried about. Life is already too short...let's not make it shorter for ourselves or someone else and their families.

Somewhere in my Christian heart I must find forgiveness for this young man who took her life because I will not be free if I don't. I will be filled with rage and hate and that does not feel good within my soul. I have come to far to return to my old ways of being bitter. My only solace is that maybe she called out to God in that final moment as she saw her death approaching in her aloneness and she is in Heaven now.

Justice...where is the justice with something like this? What does it look like or sound like? Does it have a face or is our image unrecognizable as it looks back from a steamed up mirror ? I guess we all ask that question in our lives every so often but I pray that it isn't because you have lost someone.

May the light of God's truth shine upon your face so that the shadow of loss and pain may fall behind,

Glady

"Summertime...hot summer time!"

Here I am working my buns off just so that I can feel comfortable in a pair of shorts for the sizzling summer fun. This is my third summer of putting it off so I have promised myself that I will try to lose enough winter handles just so that I can feel comfortable in my skin.

Most of the time I don't even change in front of myself because I know that I will become embarrassed looking at the far cry of what my 128 pound shape used to be. I am doing my best though. I really need to "commit" it to myself to begin eating properly and exercising. Can't be all that hard. I know my body is painful from disolving disks in my neck, fibromyalgia, and arthritis, but surely there is something that I can do for myself. Walking can be a way of good cardio. There is always something we can find for ourselves that we can follow to become more productive and healthier. Wish me well, please.

This is the time when most everyone is making plans to go away on holiday somewhere. I remember camping trips the most when my kids were small. We had such wonderful times. My kids loved the adventure of exploring trails, building fires at night, roasting marshmallows and sleeping peacefully so close to the night sky. I really miss holidays like that. In fact, I miss holidays! It has been 2 years since I have been away anywhere and I have an incredible itch to go somewhere but certain circumstances are preventing me from doing so. It is all in God's timing. I have faith in that. He will send me on a holiday when things are right. For now, I take comfort in "kitty-sitting" my son's cat. She is about 5 years old and her name is "Xena". She is a very finicky cat and she thinks that the world of humans should bow to her. Sheesh! Oh well, her comical antics make up for her moodiness. Just a while ago, I went to my bed and lay down beside her during her "princess nap". She lifted her head, opened her mouth and gave a long and irritated meow...then she nipped me! I couldn't believe it! She wanted me off of the bed so that she could nap in peace. "Hey you! This is MY bed that I am lending you for your beauty naps...don't even think that you can push me around!"...Boy...I left her on the bed with that so that she could think it over. Little Miss Priss!

But, most of the time she is so much fun. Very good company for me when most of my days go without entertaining. I will be sad when my son returns from his trip and takes her home. I would like to wish you all "Happy Summer Holidays". Be safe...careful of fire season, and don't speed.

Bless you all,

Glady

Summertime is here!

Hello everyone. It has been a while since my last post. I had my computer in the shop for 1 1/2 months so I was unable to write anything. I felt a little anxious because I have been submitting stories to "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series and a story & poem has been published and I was itching to let loose on more. They are just short stories but it is a dream come true for me. I have always been happiest and secure when there was a pen in hand. Thank goodness for computers though because it makes the writing so much easier. When I am finished the material I email it off to the Publishers of Chicken Soup.

Why did I start writing for Chicken Soup? I was given the first edition as a gift when they first came out many years ago. I fell in love with the type of material written because it was my style of writing so I began to submit my stories. Chicken Soup has now grown to so many titled books that I have lost count. I highly recommend to you to buy them as gifts to friends and family. They will not be disappointed.

Here we are in British Columbia on the second day of summer and it is going to rain, rain, rain all weekend! Please don't get me wrong...British Columbia, Canada is a very beautiful country with each season in it's glory. The mountains and green trees against blue sky takes your breath away. Our pristine lakes are perfect for fishing and there are many wonderful resorts to make your stay comfortable. We also have many beautiful beaches too. Yes, we have hot summer weather and lots of bathers soaking up the rays. Children laugh and play while parents read a book on the blanket. At night you can walk along the beach and listen to the sidewalk cafes full of lovers as they savor the moment of hand feeding each other lobster and listen to the slow hip moving music. Love is in the air! A full moon against the sky and baby stars dotting the blue blanket heavens makes for a wonderful ending of a long day of fun living.

Yes, we have it all. The winters are also a favorite of mine. The crisp white snow that crunches under my boots as I take one step after another brings me back to my childhood when I used to make paths by walking sideways with my feet close together. I was so proud of those paths. To me they were beautiful. I don't know why, I just thought they were clean, organized...and mine. When I was on my own with my children grown and gone I did pretty much everything for myself but my brother would cut me some beautiful wood for my wonderful wood stove. I would haul it in from the shed to the house and I even chopped some when I was out or if the logs were to big. The shed was a good ways away from the back door so when it snowed I got my boots on and excitedly opened the door and started stamping the snow down side by side to make a path. WOW! What a wonderful feeling.

Yes, we experience all the seasons here and I thank God for it. I love it all. Mostly, I
appreciate it. It is going to rain all weekend and I am going to enjoy it because after that it is goinf to get hot and I don't have airconditioning!

Thank you for visiting my blog. I would love to hear a comment from you if you have time.

Blessings to you,
Glady

"Mother's Day in Heaven"

Whenever May nears I always seems to miss Mom more than ever. I don't know whether it is because of Mother's Day approaching or whether I am reminded of 19 years ago Mom started losing weight and by July (my birthday) we were told that Mom had inoperable cancer and she had 3 months to live. This picture of her was taken about 1 month before she left us. She had only had her portrait taken twice in her life and she said, "Glad, I don't have any nice recent pictures of me so that you can give them out after I am gone. I want people to remember me in a happier moment" It was a very difficult picture taking session. I did her hair, put make-up on her, put my earrings on her, and she wanted to wear her one good dress that she saved for special occassions only. Mom smiled her cute little self conscious smile and I cried behind the camera lens. She didn't seem to notice...I guess she had other things on her mind.

Even through her illness, there was times of laughter. We always laughed a lot in our family (once the crazy dysfunction was gone.) Mom came from a family of 15 siblings and her brothers & sisters, neices & nephews, and friends came to say goodbye. I guess many of them thought we would be a house of gloom but once they walked in and saw the whole room filled with flowers and people all over the place, drinking coffee and laughing and reminiscing about days gone by, I am sure their hearts were grateful for the sweet memory that they would leave with.

As soon as we found out that Mom would be leaving us we all decided that Mom would move in with me & my family. Mom wanted to sleep in the livingroom because she didn't want to "miss anything". She told me that she wanted laughter and she wanted flowers while she was alive so that she could enjoy them. Every day and every night there was someone new to come stay with Mom. I was her main caregiver but she enjoyed her sisters coming to care for her. Many wonderful meals were made. It was like a constant reunion but except for the odd person spotted crying, (like me when I snuck outside and hid under the balcony to have a cry in private when the pressure became too much). One would never have guessed that there was a dying woman inside that lovely blue house with the white picket fence and HUGE garden full of fresh vegetables, herbs & flowers. Mom was a wonderful woman. We didn't always see eye to eye when I was a teenager but I loved her so much. When I became a Mother I fell in love with my Mother in a very special and beautiful way. I finally recognized the pain in her eyes that had seen way too much in her life. Yes, she was a real warrior in eyes. For all that she had experience in her life I would have thrown in the towel had it been me. Her deepest pain began with the death of her first born, Doreen, at ten years old. Doreen died of a brain tumor. I cannot imagine the sheer pain in her heart as she watched her baby slowly slip away. Mom...I am so sorry that you began your marriage with a death. Mom & Dad had 6 of us, (including Doreen). My sister was one year younger than Doreen. Can you imagine the pain and confusion she experienced? After she realized in her 9 year old innocent mind that her best friend, her sister, was not coming back because she was up in Heaven now, she used to go outside worried that Doreen had not eaten so she would throw bread upwards in hopes that Doreen would get it.

I was 2 years old when Doreen left us so I do not remember her. But, I grew up with the pain of her death. My parents turned to sources to drown the pain and often there were tears or angry words about Doreen and her untimely, too soon death. There was a lot of blame toward God. Later on in life they came to realize that God does not cause disease.

Soon, Mom's lung cancer traveled to her brain leaving one side paralyzed. I had to do everything for Mom after that. Bathing, dressing, delicate situations, brushing teeth, giving medications...and on and on. I loved it. I wanted to give to Mom what she gave to me as I grew up. Mom also told me that she wanted me to take care of her and that she would never be alone. I vowed to her that she would have these wishes. The hospital staff & Dr.s & I were on first name basis. It was in a community of 12,000 so you pretty much got to know everyone. Many of the Dr.s would treat Mom or check on her when our Dr. was not available. We had the Palliative Care room reserved for us because instead of putting her into emergency when she had her 3 seizures they would just wheel her into her room and tend her there. Mom did not want machines so each time we entered the hospital I did not know if it would be the last time.

When it neared the end, there was my sister, my aunt & me. The nurses were in and out all night. They had gotten to know this sweet little lady who never complained and they loved her. - During the last month of her life I would put Mom in her bed for an afternoon nap and I would lay ontop of the blankets and hold her and sing along to her little gospel tape. Without my knowledge the nurses would all come to peek at us and cry and whisper to each other..."Her Mom mothered her in the beginning of her life and now she mother's her Mom at the end of her life." Yes, I felt blessed that I was able to comfort Mom as best I could. I couldn't get enough of her because I knew that soon I would not have her anymore. - I crawled into bed with Mom and began to sing and speak to her. She was in a coma. God spoke to my heart and said..."Give her permission to go." So I did. "Mom, it's okay. You don't need to hold on anymore because it hurts too much. Let go of the pain, Mom. We will follow you, but for now cross that beautiful stream with the cool running water and meet Jesus. Your little girl is waiting for you, Mom" Soon afterwards, her breathing slowed steadily...gently...and she said goodbye with one last beautiful breath. Do you know that that room felt full of warm and tingly energy. It was like there were Angels everywhere. Even the nurses felt it. Three nurses and the female Dr. my sister, my Aunt, and myself were present as Mom gently slipped away.

I haven't been able to stop writing since. What that has to do with anything, I don't know, but it opened some sort of door. Maybe my faith opened widely after that but it took me a while to truly give my life over to the Lord.

In 12 days it will be Mother's Day. Let's honor our Mother's with something that will make a deep connection between you because one day one of you will not be present on Mother's Day. Take advantage of this special day, ladies because being a Mother is something God gave us as a very special gift. For those of us that don't have a Mother anymore, remember that we will see them again but you can still continue to honor your Mother by remembering her openly. Buy yourself some flowers and place them in view for yourself to see and say...

"Happy Mother's Day to us Mom."

"Dreams"

Do you ever wonder what dreams mean? I have so many crazy dreams that I become overwhelmed and weary trying to figure them out. Mostly though, my dreams are not pleasant visions. I most often than not, will awaken frightened or filled with a dreadful expectantcy. Last night, I was in a vision of my family & I being in a lovely house with some sort of a reunion going on. I was apprehensive of letting anyone come or go through the back door though because there was a grizzly bear there, laying on the grass...just waiting. At one point, I had a toddler in my arms and Mr. Grizz attacked us and wanted the baby and I had to fight him. I woke up screaming as I was punching my free fist ontop of his head. Most upsetting start to my day, that is for sure. A few mornings ago I dreamed of a sniper outside our home and rippling off the walls and furniture were his bullets. What's that all about!? Why do we have these kinds of dreams? Is there something in our life that we need to take care of? That we need to talk about to a trusted source? It amazes me because during my waking hours I feel so happy inside. I feel content with my life and where I am in my faith, (although I would like to grow more in my faith), so...why the corny dreams?

It does begin to affect the health eventually though. Even though my spirit seems healthy during the daytime hours, I have noticed a dip in my health issues. I do suffer from many health ailments like Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, IBS, Diverticulitis & Depression, but, I just feel weak & more tired than usual. My Pastor recommends praying over my dreams before bed and I must confess that I have not been doing so lately. I will get back on it tonight that is for sure.

Life can be so stressful and we seem to get caught up in the daily ritual of sleep; get-up; go to work; come home; eat; sleep. We forget to stop for a moment and embrace our very existance and be thankful for our lives. No wonder we are stressed...no wonder we dream the dreams that we do. Our poor little brains are working overtime trying to catch up on the multitasking of everyday existence. I received a lovely email the other day about a life in the "dirty thirties"...the Depression. It was a lazy pictured message with music. It described how poor life was, how they had to eat what they planted, they didn't have cars to travel, nor telephones to interrupt dinner time with the family or bible reading around the fire after dinner...and they were never happier. I felt such comfort and peace when I viewed this email. Maybe it was not as "lovely" as that for all people but obviously for some it was. I know that I do not lead as much a fast laned life as I did in 2001 when I was multitasker with 11 hour days, and I truly feel for those who must. It is even painful for me to make my own bed now, but, I cannot imagine myself out in the working world as I was before. I believe that is why I am where I am now. Also, I did not work alongside my depression years ago and I never talked to anyone about it so it got out of hand and I became bodily ill. Maybe my dreams would be sweet now if I had taken better care of "how" I took care of myself.

As I have stressed before in other postings on this site...share your heart with someone, smell the life that is in the air, listen to the choir amidst the trees...and laugh often. Life is so precious and you only have one on this earth so enjoy it. Forgive those who need forgiveness because you set yourself free more so than you set them free. Make a call to someone you haven't said "I love you" to in a while...or if ever, and say those three beautiful, war breaking, encouraging, and powerful words and just watch what greatness comes back to you. Your spirit will feel so enriched from this simple little act from your heart.

Even if our bodies begin to fail...our spirits can be as young as the first day they were created. I may not be able to make my own bed without a lot of struggle but I can reach out to you, the reader, and share with you my thoughts, my opinions, and pray that your spirit will be affected by even one sentence in any one of these postings. I can pray for you and I will listen.

I am only just a prayer away, today, tomorrow...and always

Glady

"My Miracle Cat"

All of my life I had been allergic to cats. As I got older the allergies became so severe that even if I stood next to a person who held their cat that morning I would have a fierce attack and have to head home from where I was and go right to bed with medication. This really prevented me from going places and it was a real pain to some people. Some of the cat owners would have preferred to put me outside instead of the cat...(if I dared go to their home at all). And then their were the people who did not believe I had it as bad as I would claim. It was a very trying time competing with the cats...most times the cats won. I am sure they would snicker a meow when they knew they wouldn't be thrown out because "she" decided to stay home. Sometimes I could have sworn that they were laughing at me!
Then one day a little "angel" bearing a miracle upon his fur came just for me! I was dealing with a great many issues in my life and this one night I received a phone call that needed attention immediately so I called my friend who lived in the same trailer court and asked if she could come with me. I waited outside for her at the end of my driveway. From the shadows came this raggedy old tom cat. My heart leaped at the sight of him because over the years I had become terrified of animals, but mostly cats, because I new what they could do to me. I shooshed at him to go away but he insisted on following me back and forth as I paced while awaiting my ride. No matter what I did, he continued to pace with me. I shrugged it off.
When I returned, I went to the back door and there he was...sitting at the threshold! Well...I sure told him off! He didn't run like I thought he would but at least he got up and went down the back steps, stopped and looked back at me with sad eyes and disappeared into the night.

The next morning he returned and the morning after that as well. My neighbor & I were outside talking "across the fence" and the cat mosied over to me and just looked up at me without saying a word. My friend had a fit and yelled for the cat to shoo but he ignored her and continued to look up at me. At that moment God whispered into my heart..."Touch this cat. You will not be allergic to it." I reached down and for the first time in 40 years I felt the silky fur of an animal. I was overcome with a mixture of feelings and I began to cry.

I took him in and aptly named him "Angel". We were inseparable. He didn't talk at all except when it was bedtime. Yup...he slept with me. Some months previous I had heart trouble and was in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks until they could do the tests I needed. I had become very weak from it for quite some time and it was as though Angel knew when I needed rest and he would sound the alarm until I listened and off we'd go. He slept curled around my knees. I couldn't believe how utterly secure that felt. Sometimes I would cry and thank God for this wonderful gift He sent me.

I have many funny stories of my Angel and if you want to hear any please leave a post. All too soon, my Angel took sick and died in my arms. He had Cardio Myopathy which is heart problems . I only had him for 3 short months but those three months healed me in many ways. I still ache when I think of him and his total non-judgemental love for me and I get a painful lump in my throat, but, Angel opened the door for another cat into our lives..."Xena" is my sons cat. What a beauty. You see, my healing did not only involve me but my kids have never had a pet because of Mom's allergies. They are adults now and it is a real blessing for them that now they too can enjoy the love & devotion that a pet can bring.

God Blesses All Creatures Great & Small
"Blessings"

"A Poem"

“Wine Cooler”
My trip back home was long awaited
I crossed off every day
The bus ride there was a delight
Air-condition, movies, back I lay.
Now this is the good way to travel
No driving to worry about
It even has a “potty” in back
In case I’m not in drought.
I looked outside at passing trees
And thought about my bags
“Maybe I should have packed a coat
Cause all I brought were summer rags”.
The bus did stop at our roads end
I saw my cousins there
We embraced and I exclaimed
“It sure is hot and fair!”
We did things every day out side
And I melted bit by bit
My cousin said “She is tough”
“She’ll get over it!”
Our final day there was a tour
An age old winery place
It ended in the basement cooler
Even then I could feel my face!
I hid behind a stranger big guy
For if my cousin saw me
He would have made a spectacle
For all the world to see.

I could feel his eyes on me
I saw the look of laughter
Hear it comes, get out quick
Or I’ll hear it ever-after
It’s too late, I heard a voice
It bellowed in the basement
“Only you, my cousin girl
Could HOT-FLASH in cool encasement!”
Every single person there looked around to see
Who it was with Menopause
And bright red face…that’s me!
All I could do was smile back
At all the wine tour eyes
Silence filled the echo room
I must say something wise
But mental-pause tip-toed in
I couldn’t find a word
Instead, my mouth betrayed me big
My words were like lemon curd!
“It’s my menopause you see,
The heat has done me in.
My cousin put me on the spot
And now I’ll need some gin!”
Up the stairs I climbed as quick
As my swollen legs could go,
And in the wake of flying skirts
They laughed a “HO HO HO!”

by

Glady

Does This Blog Interest You?

Well, I must say that I am a little discouraged with this blog. I have just visited other blogs just to see how others have set up their sites and what they write about and I feel a little overwhelmed with the intelligence & experience they have penned in. Hmmm...I feel a little silly about the "greenhorn experiences" that I have written about and I will pray on whether I shall continue this blog or not. Any advice would be accepted dearly.

Bless you today, tomorrow & always

"A Pill Won't Help My Hurt"

Wouldn't it be nice if we could swallow a Tylenol for our heartaches? It would be so easy wouldn't it. But, unfortunately, that is not the way it is. When I think back of heartbreaks and how truly raw they made me as they tore at my inner being where love is formed, I cringe on the memory. How many times I thought my heart would cease to beat and my breath would still forever. I felt incredibly numb with the heartpain that fulfilled my chest. I actually kneeled while grasping myself as though all feeling left my legs and there was no strength in them to hold me up any longer and my tears were like a river flowing from my eyes. I thought I would just quit...just not care about tomorrow, whether it comes or not. Then, I curled up into the fetal position and as exhaustion surrounded me like a blanket, sleep came over me.
The next morning I was awakened by birds singing a melody I'd never heard before. Someone was mowing their lawn and the sound swooshed my memories back to when I was a child and I was playing skip rope on pavement, the sound of my black patten shoes scraped loudly and proudly against the sparsely graveled cement. Neighbours chatting made me think of my Mom and Aunts when they were together. In the distance I thought I heard my son and my daughter playing together in their youth. In her little girl's voice, my daughter was talking her big brother's ear off as she always did. Her brother was her hero.
Suddenly, I realized that I had not even thought of why I had slept in my clothes. I did not have the pain inside me that I thought I would surely die from, but now it was only an ache. Seeing and hearing all of these memories made my soul come to life rather than grieving something that had died. Life was so much more important than the loss of something on this earth because if I lost it then it wasn't mine to begin with. I do not mean the loss of a loved one, that is a whole different story, but, I am referring to a relationship mostly, I guess. I am relating to my experiences. As I have stated before in previous postings, I have had 2 failed marriages and two drastic relationships. I felt like such a failure after the last one a little over four years ago. But then, through my wonderful Christian Counselor I came to realise that it was not only me but it was also the "choice" I made because of where my self-esteem was at. My Christianity has been my bow & arrow of life now and I feel stronger now than I have ever been when I was married or with someone in my life. I am not saying that I wouldn't like to marry again one day, but, if I do, it will be God's choice for me...not mine. I am just sharing that I couldn't find a pill to help my heartbreak when it was present, but, I sure learned a great deal from it's pain. And once the clouds disappeared...it wasn't so bad. Thinking about all of the beauties in my life brought me back to earth and made me reconnect with reality that this is only one life I have here on this earth and even though there is pain I want to live through them and learn and become strong as I recover from each blow. I never, ever, walk through them alone because God is always with me.

Take Heart & Know That After The Storm There Is A Rainbow Of Beautiful Colors Waiting Just For You To Enjoy

"Im PMS-ing, I Have A Loaded Flashlight-Watch Out!"

Another watch neared. The weather was getting better so when Thursday nights neared the "young & the restless" wanted to get a head start on their weekend partying in the bush next to our property. There was one of our Seniors who was a little "different & very nosy" if I should put it mildly, and every so often I would find him outside smoking a pipe as he followed me from a distance. I would finally approach him and say as sweetly as I could, "Maybe you should go back to your suite Mr. M. because it just isn't safe to walk around at midnight anymore." "I can take care of myself!" he would snarl and walk off in a huff...and a puff.

This one particular night I was standing very still in the courtyard just taking in the beauty of the silence and the dreamy screen of stars across the heavens when I heard a distant sound of whispers. I slipped into the shadows of the building to investigate under cover. Sure enough, there were two people entering our grounds suspiciously bent over and trying to walk quietly, but I heard them long before they even arrived because I am a mother and I have caught many a "cookie thief" in my day! I made the call to the police on my cell and I was giving information to the Operator when suddenly the hairs on my neck raised up on stilts! Then someone whispered behind my ear..."Who are you talking to?"...After I picked myself up from a dead faint I could hear the faraway voice of the Operator..."What's happening? Are you there? Talk to me!" I turned to see who had snuck up behind me and looked into the face of our Mr. M. but this time he was without his pipe so I didn't smell him coming. I gave him a real good tongue wagging and told him to get back to his room and stay there! The Police arrived moments later only to find the visitors long gone. I made a formal complaint the next day that a notice should be given to Mr. M. that he remain in his suite during certain hours. I wanted to deliver it to him myself. I was going to enjoy putting the arrogant Mr. M. in his place...but, I would do so in a very diplomatic way of course.

"You can't tell me I can't leave my suite!"
"Oh yes I can, Mr. M. See this policeman's flashlight? See how heavy it is? This flashlight almost found it's way over your head last night! You never, never, sneak up on a middle-aged woman unexpectedly or you will suffer severe consequences. Do you understand, Mr. M.?"...
I never saw him out at night again.
Sometimes hormones can be a woman's best friend...hee hee

Blessings filled with laughter today, tomorrow...and always

"What Is Easter To You?"

You may be planting Easter eggs for your little ones just as I did when mine were young. But, once my heart began questioning the real meaning of Easter, I wanted to learn more about our furry little fellow who announced the coming of Easter. Then I watched "The Passion of the Christ"

This moved me beyond words. To me, there was no longer any doubt that the Easter Celebration had nothing to do with rabbits...it had to do with the Crucifixion of Jesus on Good Friday and Easter Sunday He rose from death and His spirit was seen by many. He remained on Earth and taught many people before He ascended to his Father in Heaven. He promised us that He would return.

If you are searching for unanswered questions, if you have a hole inside your stomache that feels like it will never be filled, if your heart aches for something that you don't understand...please, watch The Passion. It may give you some idea what He did for you at Easter. It may change your life for the better.

I have no idea where or when the bunny came in and I will probably never try to find out. I, also, will not discontinue buying easter bunnies & chocolate eggs for my loved ones, but I know what my heart believes now and I feel fulfilled. It could have been me up on that cross but instead Jesus said..."Take me instead of her. I will die for her sins if you spare her." Now, it is up to me to accept the gift He gave me...or turn away. I have done a lot of things in my life that I regret deeply but since I came to understand that Jesus gave me a chance to make it right by taking my place I have asked forgiveness to God and will now lead a life following the footsteps of the man who took my place! To me...that is a Happy Easter because it brings hope to the lost, healing to the sick and direction to better, cleaner paths of life.

I would like to close off by sharing one Easter memory when my kids were young.

We were all together at my then husbands parents home for Easter. By this time the youngest, my nephew, was about 4 years old and our children were older. Over the years we had become experts at fooling the children with "rabbit footsteps in the flowerbed by the window, Santa's footsteps beside Rudolphs hoof prints and on and on. Well, this particular morning the children got up filled with excitement that the bunny had left special things just for them. The youngest was especially excited because it was the first year he really understood about the easter bunny. As they began their hunt we adults stood back and watched. Our hearts filled with warmth at the excitement of each child as they found a hidden egg. One child said..."Boy, that Easter Bunny sure is tricky. He really hid them good!"...And then the father of another child said...

"Yep!...we were up really late hiding those eggs !"
A quiet came over the children like a dead calm.

BOOM! Just like that the excitement of a "real bunny" was gone except from the little guy. It is different with Jesus though. If your heart believes in Him you will never doubt. All you have to do is look around you and see the changes He has made in many lives.

So, I wish you a very Happy Easter of "new beginnings and wonderous hope for your future"...today, tomorrow...& always

"Night-Time Security"

When we had a tragic event at the Center, which hit the Television News, the Board of Drectors hired round the clock security. After 1 full year they came to realize that the worst was over and that they could no longer afford the 12 hour night-time watch...so they hired me! Four nights a week from 9:00 pm to 1:00 am.

The Seniors knew me and trusted me (except for the one who thought I stole her left runner & raw piece of chicken of course), more than anyone else on the grounds so I was hired. I began my shift after all my day-time jobs were done. My rounds consisted of patrolling around the whole outside area of the Center. It was a lot of ground to cover which was not a problem to me but the back part was a little unnerving because it was all bush that led to the bird santuary.

The bushed area was also used for the street people during the summer months and for party people. Then there was Mr. Bear who loved the bushes where he would find his berries and plants...and at the back door (which had about 10 feet of lawn before the main building and the bush met) he had a gourmet meal of all sorts, from the "Smythrite Cafe" garbage can at the back door entrance, just right for the pickings!

I usually took 3 or 4 rounds of the whole building lot during my 4 hour shift. I took the same amount inside the buildings. It didn't make for a lot of extra free time. Often, I would find other things that would surface, like, the gentleman who refused to lock his door and leave it wide open and another would leave his motorized cart outside with the keys in it. One night, around 1:00 a.m. darling Mr. B. was wondering around outside because he thought it was daytime. This could have proven to be very dangerous to his well being because we had on 2 occassions had two Senior gentelmen robbed & beaten by a gang. I took Mr. B. back to his room several times a week until he had to be placed into securer environment. One of the special ladies would bake me cookies and bring me hot chocolate! Yet another would join me in walking the grounds for a few laps before his bedtime. Mr. A. would look out her bedroom window just before sleep and I made it a point to be there to wave to a goodnight.

One night, Mr. Bear and I came (almost) face to face! I might mention that 5 miles is close enough for me! It was time for my last round and all was quiet around the beautiful grounds. The sky was clear, the stars twinkled brightly. I could see my breath in front of me on this clear October night. I donned my gloves one more time, flashlight in hand, voice activated cell-phone attached and open for action, whistle on my left wrist and keys attached to my belt loop on my elastic key chain...'Here we go.'...I thought. I was anxious to get home and have a hot bath and crawl into my snuggly bed. Being careless with the thought that throughout my last 3 rounds previous, all was well...I didn't look around first before I walked away from the door letting it close behind me (because our doors closed and locked automatically). I was about 30 feet from the locked door when I heard a noise from the dreaded left hand side of me...where the garbage can was! Yup! Mr. Bear! He stopped munching and looked at me and I looked at him but only for a moment. In fact, all I remember is shakily fighting to get the key in the door on the South end of the building when we had met on the North side! After I safely closed the door, I sat on the stairwell, trying desperately to quiet my racing heart and gasping breath. I said a little prayer to myself..."Please God, don't let anyone have seen that!" The next serious problem was...how am I to get to my car! My car was parked somewhat between the place where Mr. Bear and I locked eyes! Needless to say, after much investigation before leaving my post, I made it to my car.

Oh how I miss them! One of the best times in my life was when I was with the Center for that ten years. Many wonderful memories.

God Bless You Today, Tomorrow ...& Always

"More Of Jane"

During my days at the Senior's Center I filled up on so many hysterically funny situations that I knew at some point I would write about them. Things such as these must be shared with people because "laughter is the best medicine". I have written some short stories for Chicken Soup For The Soul because I really want these stories to bring even one smile to a face or one feather light feeling of warmth.
I was at the Center for 10 full years. Not all was happy. There was a time when one of our tenants came to us as a widow and she never failed to tell me how many servants she had. One day she found out that my then husband worked for the Government and she said..."WHAT! But, he is such an educated man and you are just a housekeeper!" I kept a stiff upper lip, smled and said "Shocking isn't it." and I walked downstairs to the bathrooms...and cried! Oh yes, good times and bad times. One lady accused me of stealing her left runner, size 9 1/2. The Cobbler later called and said that she had left her left runner there for weeks and would she come pick it up. She was 80 and sweetly forgetful. Next, she blamed me for her missing piece of raw chicken. I finally took my Boss's advice and learned to laugh over these such instances otherwise I would break.
My Co-Worker, the handyman, who was also the Manager of the Center and lived on-site, was my buddy. He was about 70 and a real sweetie. We had lots of laughs together. I had recently found one of our Seniors near death in his suite and so this had made me a little on edge because we had been told by "our handyman" that he also was ill. He had throat cancer. We were devastated! One day, I had my tray of cleaners and was on my way to the outer laundry rooms. I passed by our supply room when I quickly looked inside and there was Bob laying on his back with the upper half of his body underneath the laundry tub! "
BOB...BOB!...OH MY GOSH!...BOB!" I grabbed on to his legs and yanked!
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YA DOIN'!"...he yelled! He was underneath the tub fixing a drip! I didn't know our sink had a leak!
Anyway, that is your giggle for the day. I answer all emails if you so wish to write.
Bless you today, tomorrow...& always

"Jane Of All Trades"

In my last posting I mentioned that I worked 11 hour days. I was not a career women but I just had several jobs every day, five days a week. My first job at the Senior's Center began with just vacuuming the hallways, cleaning the bathrooms & the communal lounge, and lastly, the laundry rooms. It began as 3 days a week for 4 hours. Then, I was giving a name, "The Singing Vacuum Lady" because I always sang during this boring task and those hallways were loooong hallways so I had to keep my thoughts in a positive space. It got so that whenever I came on shift, the seniors would open the doors to their suites so that they could listen more clearly. They couldn't tell if I was off key most of the time because a lot of them wore hearing aids so I wasn't afraid of making warbles off key...0:) Soon, it got to the point where my 4 hour shift became 6 hours (and not being paid for the extra 2 hours but I didn't care), because about 5 or 6 of the seniors would come to the door and have a little chat that they promised wouldn't hold me up too long...after two cookies and a cup of tea and listening to them reminesce of days gone by I decided that I would begin visiting them on my own time. I soon got to know them all and ,praisingly, I remembered names & history, hurts and children's names. Some had family and some had no family, while others had family that did not visit. They were lonely people and I was a people person so it was a wonderful ministry.

I spoke to my boss and asked if she would consider taking me on for more hours so that these people could receive more attention. I had been asked by my boss on several occassion to watch over this lady or go in to make toast for that one, etc. so, when the Homemakers went on strike about 10 of our seniors were desperate because it was winter and they were not able to walk and their homemakers would drive them or shop for them. I became the main shopper for these people while the strike lasted. I did it after my shift was over though. I loved helping these beautiful people. I had never know my Grandparents so I was in a little bit of Heaven on Earth. My Boss decided that she would take it to the Board of Directors.They accepted readily with..."Give her what she wants as long as she keeps the people happy!"

Monday's were always really busy at work. There would be line ups down the hallways with seniors poking their heads out...

"There you are dear. I have been waiting. I haven't been able to get my earrings on all weekend. Could you put them in for me?"...from yet another...
"I bought a jar of sweet pickles on Friday and I wasn't able to have one because I can't open the jar. Would you open it for me?"

Then there was the shocking time when a certain, sweet gentleman, 80 years old asked me in, promptly took his teeth out and asked, "Is that a gum boil in there?"

Hee Hee...yes, I loved them. Each were very unique in their own very special way. Soon I was working 5 days a week for 6 hours. Then, I was hired by one of the retired Board of Directors to clean their home once a week. Mr. H. wanted me to help out because he wanted his wife to relax a little more. It was a very large house. I was with them about 6 months when Mrs. H became ill with cancer. The family hired me to become her caregiver as well as Mr. H because he had triple by-pass and was very ill. He always said he would die way before his wife but she passed away 3 months later. His daughter & I became very close through this time. I was experienced with bed-side vigils because of my Mom's illness of 3 months and finally dying in my arms. She had cancer as did Mrs. H. I became Mr. H.'s Private Caregiver from late morning to dinner time. I went directly to him after my shift was over at the Center.

There had been a tragedy at the Center enough to hire round the clock Security. After a year was up and looking at the cost my Boss asked me if I was up to doing some Security work at night from 11 pm to 1 am. She said that they were not expecting anymore trouble but it would make the seniors feel more secure if they knew someone was out their watching over them. She said that the people loved me and trusted me and it would help them. I took it on. I loved it! Sometimes I was jolted with fear when something came up...like Mr. Bear!...but, there was something about being outside by yourself when nothing is moving, all is quiet, and you can soak in prayer. I always felt so brand new after night shift. I was never tired the next day even though I noticed changes in my body. Things were becoming more difficult to lift, or bend, but, I ignored them.

So far, I cleaned, was a Caregiver, Security, I even became quite handy with certain tools. I took over the Office for my Boss when she was away for 2 weeks holiday. I worked off and on as a Caterer, I was also a Matron at our RCMP Station (but I only lasted a few months on that because it was too frightening & painful seeing what came in and out. It was actually one prisoner that placed the fear of satan in me and I never returned.) I was a single Mom...and a wanna-be-writer! I interacted with many different types of people and they have impacted my life beautifully. Even when there was pain I learned so much more than just "capable of doing odd jobs". I learned about myself and how I really am with people. I came to realize that I am more real now than I ever was in my whole life. I have learned to laugh. I have learned to see the lighter side of things. I have even seen that even during a tragic experience or loss, there definately is a rainbow with your name on it that will soon be in your sights and close enough that you will be able to reach out and touch the incredibly beautiful smoothness of this promise that God has sent you.

In my next post I will share some experiences of some humorous encounters with "my people"at the Center. (The Board of Directors used this term about my relationship with the Seniors...0:) ) For now may your every footstep be forward and not backward. A very, very, good friend always reminds me "Look Up, Not Down. Look Forward, Not back" What wise words!

Bless you today, tomorrow...& always

Divorce

Isn't it amazing how important sleep is to our health? When I was younger, early twenties, I could function on 5-6 hours on sleep but who said that the older we get the less sleep we need? For me it is the opposite. I wonder if it has something to do with my Fibromyalgia and other health issues? Just a short time ago, 1994, I was out playing tennis, hiking 5 miles, and working 11 hour days...now I am a sad picture of what I used to be. Along with the depression the fibromyalgia was topped off with IBS and Diverticulosis. What a wreck, you say...what a wreck, I say too! BUT, I sometimes think that God allowed some things to slow me down so that I could focus more on Him. He didn't cause these things but He gently wanted to remind me that all these things that I was involved with kept my mind and my spirit looking in different directions. I thought it was the most important thing to me...to make money & support myself after my divorce. I wanted to buy myself material things. Once I lost it all, (because without any notice you can lose it all), and after the shock wore off, I came to realize that even when I had those "things", I was not happy.
I remember one particular day when I had bought myself a new stereo componentand and it felt so good to pay for it myself. I was told once during my bitter divorce that I would not make it on my own so it felt good to have that cash in my bank account and treat myself to the things I was not allowed before. I was also told that I did not have class. For years I believed it...until I looked into the mirror and saw an image that I never recognized before. I saw myself how Jesus saw me...a loving, forgiving, servant of God. To me that was all the class I needed. The stereo was turned off a great deal of the time. It collected dust. I had to keep buying newer CD's to fill all of my favorite artists as my flavor for Christian & Country music grew. Then one day I arrived at work (it was a Senior Citizens Home Society where it housed about 55 suites, 35 in the 3 story apartment building where the Communal Lounge was and then 20 bungalows outside) and I pulled up into my parking stall. Little Cecil was always out there waiting for me. He was 90 years old and he called me "Sis". He took it as his "duty" to escort me safely inside the main doors. What a lovely man. Well , this particular day, Cecil was standing amid a small crowd of Seniors who were hovering around in a little circle. I knew something was up. Cecil caming running on his skinny old legs at full speed...(I will leave that to your imagination)

"Sis, ya gotta come quick! There's a real tragedy here! Ya gotta fix it!" he stated shakily.

Oh my gosh...whatever has happened, I thought, with my heart racing a little too fast. I prayed that one of our Seniors hadn't taken a fall. (Often I had come upon falls, cuts, wondering aimlessly and even death in the Seniors Center among our Seniors). The crowd dispersed as I approached and they pointed to the corner of the lawn...a little baby bird crouched shakily amid the dewy grass. These people were relying on me to help this little birdie that had somehow fallen from it's nest. The only tree it could have come from was too far away for it to fall from and it was way too new to fly. "Gosh", I thought to myself, "What am I going to do with it?" The Seniors were clearly upset at the sight of this vulnerable living and breathing feathered friend. I automatically bent down and placed my cupped hand at the edge of the lawn where I stood some 20 feet away from his safety zone near the building wall. With unbelief clouding my eyes that little birdie hopped across that lawn and right into my palm! Tears flooded my eys as did the Seniors. The trust that this teeny little thing had to hop over hill and dale and curl up with fluffed wings into a giant's hand was only something that God would allow. The little fellow did not live but at least it died warm, fed, and loved instead at the beak of a crow.

Sometimes I felt like that in my marriage. Caged. I felt like I could not spread my wings and fly. I was afraid. Not of being crushed but of believing the lies. My faith had been stunted. I am not saying that I agree with divorce, I don't. Divorce hurts. It hurts you, your spouse, your family & friends. But, if it is a very needed step then so be it.

For years I felt so guilty because the bible speaks about divorce and how God does not like divorce but I never understood the meaning until our wonderful Pastor broke it down in a sermon one Sunday. I finally got it! God doesn't like "divorce" but it doesn't say we are wrong if it is unavoidable. He just wishes that it did not have to be. I used to feel guilty but I feel guilty no longer. My ex-husband is happy in a new marriage and I am happy in my new life as a single Christian woman who is free to study and grow in her faith to the fullest. I did not die like that little birdie, I am alive like I have never been alive before. The material things I used to have don't mean as much anymore. I gave my stereo to my son. I do not miss it. The feeling that I had when I gave it to him was beyond the feeling I had when I bought it for myself!

You are not alone if you are going through a divorce. If you would like some personal prayer for yourself or someone you love please drop me your email and I would be happy to email you a prayer that I will pray for you or your loved one. Materialistic things and cages are not meant to bring us happiness. Only you can do that by realizing that you are a lovely creation of God and He will set you free!

Blessings today, tomorrow...and always