In my last posting I mentioned that I worked 11 hour days. I was not a career women but I just had several jobs every day, five days a week. My first job at the Senior's Center began with just vacuuming the hallways, cleaning the bathrooms & the communal lounge, and lastly, the laundry rooms. It began as 3 days a week for 4 hours. Then, I was giving a name, "The Singing Vacuum Lady" because I always sang during this boring task and those hallways were loooong hallways so I had to keep my thoughts in a positive space. It got so that whenever I came on shift, the seniors would open the doors to their suites so that they could listen more clearly. They couldn't tell if I was off key most of the time because a lot of them wore hearing aids so I wasn't afraid of making warbles off key...0:) Soon, it got to the point where my 4 hour shift became 6 hours (and not being paid for the extra 2 hours but I didn't care), because about 5 or 6 of the seniors would come to the door and have a little chat that they promised wouldn't hold me up too long...after two cookies and a cup of tea and listening to them reminesce of days gone by I decided that I would begin visiting them on my own time. I soon got to know them all and ,praisingly, I remembered names & history, hurts and children's names. Some had family and some had no family, while others had family that did not visit. They were lonely people and I was a people person so it was a wonderful ministry.
I spoke to my boss and asked if she would consider taking me on for more hours so that these people could receive more attention. I had been asked by my boss on several occassion to watch over this lady or go in to make toast for that one, etc. so, when the Homemakers went on strike about 10 of our seniors were desperate because it was winter and they were not able to walk and their homemakers would drive them or shop for them. I became the main shopper for these people while the strike lasted. I did it after my shift was over though. I loved helping these beautiful people. I had never know my Grandparents so I was in a little bit of Heaven on Earth. My Boss decided that she would take it to the Board of Directors.They accepted readily with..."Give her what she wants as long as she keeps the people happy!"
Monday's were always really busy at work. There would be line ups down the hallways with seniors poking their heads out...
"There you are dear. I have been waiting. I haven't been able to get my earrings on all weekend. Could you put them in for me?"...from yet another...
"I bought a jar of sweet pickles on Friday and I wasn't able to have one because I can't open the jar. Would you open it for me?"
Then there was the shocking time when a certain, sweet gentleman, 80 years old asked me in, promptly took his teeth out and asked, "Is that a gum boil in there?"
Hee Hee...yes, I loved them. Each were very unique in their own very special way. Soon I was working 5 days a week for 6 hours. Then, I was hired by one of the retired Board of Directors to clean their home once a week. Mr. H. wanted me to help out because he wanted his wife to relax a little more. It was a very large house. I was with them about 6 months when Mrs. H became ill with cancer. The family hired me to become her caregiver as well as Mr. H because he had triple by-pass and was very ill. He always said he would die way before his wife but she passed away 3 months later. His daughter & I became very close through this time. I was experienced with bed-side vigils because of my Mom's illness of 3 months and finally dying in my arms. She had cancer as did Mrs. H. I became Mr. H.'s Private Caregiver from late morning to dinner time. I went directly to him after my shift was over at the Center.
There had been a tragedy at the Center enough to hire round the clock Security. After a year was up and looking at the cost my Boss asked me if I was up to doing some Security work at night from 11 pm to 1 am. She said that they were not expecting anymore trouble but it would make the seniors feel more secure if they knew someone was out their watching over them. She said that the people loved me and trusted me and it would help them. I took it on. I loved it! Sometimes I was jolted with fear when something came up...like Mr. Bear!...but, there was something about being outside by yourself when nothing is moving, all is quiet, and you can soak in prayer. I always felt so brand new after night shift. I was never tired the next day even though I noticed changes in my body. Things were becoming more difficult to lift, or bend, but, I ignored them.
So far, I cleaned, was a Caregiver, Security, I even became quite handy with certain tools. I took over the Office for my Boss when she was away for 2 weeks holiday. I worked off and on as a Caterer, I was also a Matron at our RCMP Station (but I only lasted a few months on that because it was too frightening & painful seeing what came in and out. It was actually one prisoner that placed the fear of satan in me and I never returned.) I was a single Mom...and a wanna-be-writer! I interacted with many different types of people and they have impacted my life beautifully. Even when there was pain I learned so much more than just "capable of doing odd jobs". I learned about myself and how I really am with people. I came to realize that I am more real now than I ever was in my whole life. I have learned to laugh. I have learned to see the lighter side of things. I have even seen that even during a tragic experience or loss, there definately is a rainbow with your name on it that will soon be in your sights and close enough that you will be able to reach out and touch the incredibly beautiful smoothness of this promise that God has sent you.
In my next post I will share some experiences of some humorous encounters with "my people"at the Center. (The Board of Directors used this term about my relationship with the Seniors...0:) ) For now may your every footstep be forward and not backward. A very, very, good friend always reminds me "Look Up, Not Down. Look Forward, Not back" What wise words!
Bless you today, tomorrow...& always
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Divorce
Isn't it amazing how important sleep is to our health? When I was younger, early twenties, I could function on 5-6 hours on sleep but who said that the older we get the less sleep we need? For me it is the opposite. I wonder if it has something to do with my Fibromyalgia and other health issues? Just a short time ago, 1994, I was out playing tennis, hiking 5 miles, and working 11 hour days...now I am a sad picture of what I used to be. Along with the depression the fibromyalgia was topped off with IBS and Diverticulosis. What a wreck, you say...what a wreck, I say too! BUT, I sometimes think that God allowed some things to slow me down so that I could focus more on Him. He didn't cause these things but He gently wanted to remind me that all these things that I was involved with kept my mind and my spirit looking in different directions. I thought it was the most important thing to me...to make money & support myself after my divorce. I wanted to buy myself material things. Once I lost it all, (because without any notice you can lose it all), and after the shock wore off, I came to realize that even when I had those "things", I was not happy.
I remember one particular day when I had bought myself a new stereo componentand and it felt so good to pay for it myself. I was told once during my bitter divorce that I would not make it on my own so it felt good to have that cash in my bank account and treat myself to the things I was not allowed before. I was also told that I did not have class. For years I believed it...until I looked into the mirror and saw an image that I never recognized before. I saw myself how Jesus saw me...a loving, forgiving, servant of God. To me that was all the class I needed. The stereo was turned off a great deal of the time. It collected dust. I had to keep buying newer CD's to fill all of my favorite artists as my flavor for Christian & Country music grew. Then one day I arrived at work (it was a Senior Citizens Home Society where it housed about 55 suites, 35 in the 3 story apartment building where the Communal Lounge was and then 20 bungalows outside) and I pulled up into my parking stall. Little Cecil was always out there waiting for me. He was 90 years old and he called me "Sis". He took it as his "duty" to escort me safely inside the main doors. What a lovely man. Well , this particular day, Cecil was standing amid a small crowd of Seniors who were hovering around in a little circle. I knew something was up. Cecil caming running on his skinny old legs at full speed...(I will leave that to your imagination)
"Sis, ya gotta come quick! There's a real tragedy here! Ya gotta fix it!" he stated shakily.
Oh my gosh...whatever has happened, I thought, with my heart racing a little too fast. I prayed that one of our Seniors hadn't taken a fall. (Often I had come upon falls, cuts, wondering aimlessly and even death in the Seniors Center among our Seniors). The crowd dispersed as I approached and they pointed to the corner of the lawn...a little baby bird crouched shakily amid the dewy grass. These people were relying on me to help this little birdie that had somehow fallen from it's nest. The only tree it could have come from was too far away for it to fall from and it was way too new to fly. "Gosh", I thought to myself, "What am I going to do with it?" The Seniors were clearly upset at the sight of this vulnerable living and breathing feathered friend. I automatically bent down and placed my cupped hand at the edge of the lawn where I stood some 20 feet away from his safety zone near the building wall. With unbelief clouding my eyes that little birdie hopped across that lawn and right into my palm! Tears flooded my eys as did the Seniors. The trust that this teeny little thing had to hop over hill and dale and curl up with fluffed wings into a giant's hand was only something that God would allow. The little fellow did not live but at least it died warm, fed, and loved instead at the beak of a crow.
Sometimes I felt like that in my marriage. Caged. I felt like I could not spread my wings and fly. I was afraid. Not of being crushed but of believing the lies. My faith had been stunted. I am not saying that I agree with divorce, I don't. Divorce hurts. It hurts you, your spouse, your family & friends. But, if it is a very needed step then so be it.
For years I felt so guilty because the bible speaks about divorce and how God does not like divorce but I never understood the meaning until our wonderful Pastor broke it down in a sermon one Sunday. I finally got it! God doesn't like "divorce" but it doesn't say we are wrong if it is unavoidable. He just wishes that it did not have to be. I used to feel guilty but I feel guilty no longer. My ex-husband is happy in a new marriage and I am happy in my new life as a single Christian woman who is free to study and grow in her faith to the fullest. I did not die like that little birdie, I am alive like I have never been alive before. The material things I used to have don't mean as much anymore. I gave my stereo to my son. I do not miss it. The feeling that I had when I gave it to him was beyond the feeling I had when I bought it for myself!
You are not alone if you are going through a divorce. If you would like some personal prayer for yourself or someone you love please drop me your email and I would be happy to email you a prayer that I will pray for you or your loved one. Materialistic things and cages are not meant to bring us happiness. Only you can do that by realizing that you are a lovely creation of God and He will set you free!
Blessings today, tomorrow...and always
I remember one particular day when I had bought myself a new stereo componentand and it felt so good to pay for it myself. I was told once during my bitter divorce that I would not make it on my own so it felt good to have that cash in my bank account and treat myself to the things I was not allowed before. I was also told that I did not have class. For years I believed it...until I looked into the mirror and saw an image that I never recognized before. I saw myself how Jesus saw me...a loving, forgiving, servant of God. To me that was all the class I needed. The stereo was turned off a great deal of the time. It collected dust. I had to keep buying newer CD's to fill all of my favorite artists as my flavor for Christian & Country music grew. Then one day I arrived at work (it was a Senior Citizens Home Society where it housed about 55 suites, 35 in the 3 story apartment building where the Communal Lounge was and then 20 bungalows outside) and I pulled up into my parking stall. Little Cecil was always out there waiting for me. He was 90 years old and he called me "Sis". He took it as his "duty" to escort me safely inside the main doors. What a lovely man. Well , this particular day, Cecil was standing amid a small crowd of Seniors who were hovering around in a little circle. I knew something was up. Cecil caming running on his skinny old legs at full speed...(I will leave that to your imagination)
"Sis, ya gotta come quick! There's a real tragedy here! Ya gotta fix it!" he stated shakily.
Oh my gosh...whatever has happened, I thought, with my heart racing a little too fast. I prayed that one of our Seniors hadn't taken a fall. (Often I had come upon falls, cuts, wondering aimlessly and even death in the Seniors Center among our Seniors). The crowd dispersed as I approached and they pointed to the corner of the lawn...a little baby bird crouched shakily amid the dewy grass. These people were relying on me to help this little birdie that had somehow fallen from it's nest. The only tree it could have come from was too far away for it to fall from and it was way too new to fly. "Gosh", I thought to myself, "What am I going to do with it?" The Seniors were clearly upset at the sight of this vulnerable living and breathing feathered friend. I automatically bent down and placed my cupped hand at the edge of the lawn where I stood some 20 feet away from his safety zone near the building wall. With unbelief clouding my eyes that little birdie hopped across that lawn and right into my palm! Tears flooded my eys as did the Seniors. The trust that this teeny little thing had to hop over hill and dale and curl up with fluffed wings into a giant's hand was only something that God would allow. The little fellow did not live but at least it died warm, fed, and loved instead at the beak of a crow.
Sometimes I felt like that in my marriage. Caged. I felt like I could not spread my wings and fly. I was afraid. Not of being crushed but of believing the lies. My faith had been stunted. I am not saying that I agree with divorce, I don't. Divorce hurts. It hurts you, your spouse, your family & friends. But, if it is a very needed step then so be it.
For years I felt so guilty because the bible speaks about divorce and how God does not like divorce but I never understood the meaning until our wonderful Pastor broke it down in a sermon one Sunday. I finally got it! God doesn't like "divorce" but it doesn't say we are wrong if it is unavoidable. He just wishes that it did not have to be. I used to feel guilty but I feel guilty no longer. My ex-husband is happy in a new marriage and I am happy in my new life as a single Christian woman who is free to study and grow in her faith to the fullest. I did not die like that little birdie, I am alive like I have never been alive before. The material things I used to have don't mean as much anymore. I gave my stereo to my son. I do not miss it. The feeling that I had when I gave it to him was beyond the feeling I had when I bought it for myself!
You are not alone if you are going through a divorce. If you would like some personal prayer for yourself or someone you love please drop me your email and I would be happy to email you a prayer that I will pray for you or your loved one. Materialistic things and cages are not meant to bring us happiness. Only you can do that by realizing that you are a lovely creation of God and He will set you free!
Blessings today, tomorrow...and always
"Greetings"
Another day has come and gone. Tis' the midnight hour and I am burning the midnight candle. I seem to write with more concentration well into the evening hours when there is no ringing phone or knocks upon the door. I thought I would post a picture of myself so that you can have a look at who it is that is posting these entries. The writing I speak of are short stories. They are non-fiction and about my life's experiences. It may not be a big deal to some but to others it may touch your heart in some way and maybe even open a door for you that was shut in your life. Hmm...life's experiences...that's a good one. Everyone has them. Some are good and some are bad. I used to hold in my anger and anxiety and then I ended up very ill with 10 surgeries and numerous invasive tests under my belt of life. Now, I share what is on my oveloaded plate...and I don't mean food, [besides, I love food and can be quite selfish when it comes to my favorites 0:) ]. I also laugh a lot. It feels so wonderful when you get that deep down belly laugh and you laugh so hard you cry. Wow! I can do it so hard that my kids will become a little worried asking me if I am okay because I can't stop. What a hoot! One of my favorite shows is "Funniest Home Videos" and I watch it as often as I can. There was a man I had heard of who actually "laughed away his cancer". He was told basically to go home and die but instead he went home and watched comedy every day and he was cured! I, myself, have had cancer twice, and I have had some serious operations as well but I am still here and I am still laughing. What about you? Do you like to laugh? Do you like how it feels inside you when you have a truly good laugh? Isn't it magical to hear your children laugh? God was so good when He gifted us with laughter. It literally melts anger...that's a powerful tool isn't it.
One of my short story books is about everything I can remember in my life that was related to laughter. I remember when I was a little girl and when our Uncle would come in from camp he would have a bar of McKintosh Toffee for each of us. I offered my Dad a bite and he kept refusing. As he turned his head away while saying, "No sweetie-pie, I..." , that was when I shoved my bar into his mouth. His teeth clamped down hard upon the gluey toffee. Several minutes passed and the toffee was firmly cemented into my Daddy's mouth. "Daddy, can I have my toffee back? DADDY, CAN I HAVE MY TOFFEE BACK?"...one good yank and I had my toffee back alright...right along with my Dad's dentures! They found me about a block away still running on my skinny little legs and dusty old shoes.
Life is a story, you just have o know where to look. Life can also hurt and that needs to be shared as well...just don't forget to end with a laugh or you may lose yourself down the drain of turmoil.
Goodnight for now, my friends. May your eyes become beautifully heavy as you lay your sleepy head upon your pillow. When you arise may there be blue skies and a smell of fresh air beginnings!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
"Spring Has Sprung"
The sunshine is like a heated blanket on a blustery day. How good it feels against my soul. Do you ever wonder how the butterfly might see the spring's arrival? What a long awaited birth it has endured as it lay wrapped in a cocoon of nothingness, only to appear as though there were not a day missed of life. It opens it's beautiful wings to dry and shows off the magnificant colors that God created. Did He make them beautiful just for us or is it for some other reason unbeknownst to us?
In a way we are like those butterflies. We can hide ourselves in the same kind of imprisonment in hopes that time will peel away our old self so that we may experience a birth of a new beginning. The symbol of "butterfly" from the Bible means "promise of new beginnings" If you are experiencing rough roads right now, please don't feel too discouraged. Even though you may feel so desperate or hopeless, and it feels like there is nowhere to turn...look within yourself and see the butterfly within you. It is there just waiting for rebirth into something so beautiful and filled with strength and courage that when you unfold your wings to the sun of life you will be noticed as a gift to your family, your friends and strangers. Let the change begin, let the hurts go. Don't allow the past pains rule your beautiful self. The past memories and scars will have control over you if we continue on with our anger or painful walk. Yes, it is difficult to go through this cleansing but what an achievement when you come through it unscathed. There is so much to life that we shouldn't miss out on. I walked blindly for years before I saw colors, breathed in the delicious smells, and heard the song of birds & insects. What a waste of years!
I remember a time when I was suffering deeply with my life's struggles and it was getting to the point of hopelessness when one day, a sunny, winter's day, I was walking through a field and came across a little bush on a mound. I almost stumbled over it because for years I walked blindly, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, smelling nothing. Something made me stop at this little bush though and as I looked down upon it my breath was caught in a frozen mist in front of my opened mouth! It was beautiful! It took me moments to breathe again. I had never seen anything so spectacular as this silly little snow-covered bush. The sun shone it's smiling rays upon it and it sparkled like diamonds...hundreds of diamonds! I fell to my knees in awe and tears warmed my frozen cheeks as they trickled crookedly from my eyes. My heart filled with such profound love and gratefulness that I thought I would shout. I thanked God for His sending me "my frozen bush" to remind me that "life is mine if I want to take it... life is beautiful if I want to make it"
My life changed after that moment. Sure, I still had struggles and sometimes I even had down and out wars with myself but all the while I knew that I was fighting for my rebirth. Sometimes the "labor" is a little long and difficult...but...my life's instinct struggled to do what was needed...fight the good fight and win with honors!
If you feel like talking to me I would be happy to listen over email. Being alone with these feelings of hopelessness is not needed. Sometimes it is difficult to talk to family about these issues and it is easier to let go to a faceless email friend. I am not an expert on many things but I do have experiences in "life's skills" and I have an awesome shoulder via email. Please, don't be alone in this. Let someone be there to admire your struggle from the cocoon of life!
Bless you today, tomorrow and always
In a way we are like those butterflies. We can hide ourselves in the same kind of imprisonment in hopes that time will peel away our old self so that we may experience a birth of a new beginning. The symbol of "butterfly" from the Bible means "promise of new beginnings" If you are experiencing rough roads right now, please don't feel too discouraged. Even though you may feel so desperate or hopeless, and it feels like there is nowhere to turn...look within yourself and see the butterfly within you. It is there just waiting for rebirth into something so beautiful and filled with strength and courage that when you unfold your wings to the sun of life you will be noticed as a gift to your family, your friends and strangers. Let the change begin, let the hurts go. Don't allow the past pains rule your beautiful self. The past memories and scars will have control over you if we continue on with our anger or painful walk. Yes, it is difficult to go through this cleansing but what an achievement when you come through it unscathed. There is so much to life that we shouldn't miss out on. I walked blindly for years before I saw colors, breathed in the delicious smells, and heard the song of birds & insects. What a waste of years!
I remember a time when I was suffering deeply with my life's struggles and it was getting to the point of hopelessness when one day, a sunny, winter's day, I was walking through a field and came across a little bush on a mound. I almost stumbled over it because for years I walked blindly, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, smelling nothing. Something made me stop at this little bush though and as I looked down upon it my breath was caught in a frozen mist in front of my opened mouth! It was beautiful! It took me moments to breathe again. I had never seen anything so spectacular as this silly little snow-covered bush. The sun shone it's smiling rays upon it and it sparkled like diamonds...hundreds of diamonds! I fell to my knees in awe and tears warmed my frozen cheeks as they trickled crookedly from my eyes. My heart filled with such profound love and gratefulness that I thought I would shout. I thanked God for His sending me "my frozen bush" to remind me that "life is mine if I want to take it... life is beautiful if I want to make it"
My life changed after that moment. Sure, I still had struggles and sometimes I even had down and out wars with myself but all the while I knew that I was fighting for my rebirth. Sometimes the "labor" is a little long and difficult...but...my life's instinct struggled to do what was needed...fight the good fight and win with honors!
If you feel like talking to me I would be happy to listen over email. Being alone with these feelings of hopelessness is not needed. Sometimes it is difficult to talk to family about these issues and it is easier to let go to a faceless email friend. I am not an expert on many things but I do have experiences in "life's skills" and I have an awesome shoulder via email. Please, don't be alone in this. Let someone be there to admire your struggle from the cocoon of life!
Bless you today, tomorrow and always
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Hello friends
Another day has passed and the sun shone warmly today. I was thinking back about how I suffered terribly from depression...deep depression. I knew that something was wrong before I was diagnosed but I couldn't put my finger on it. I had felt that way for so long that it was a natural state except that there was a deeper hole within me.
My thoughts were a mess. I couldn't concentrate on the simplest things. I let my outer looks go. Even my children suffered right along with me as did my husband. Everyone was frustrated with me. I just wanted to die. The thought of taking my own life entered my mind many times but my "heart" did not want to die. I wanted to live and see my children grow. I wanted to live and see what the purpose of my life was all about. Surely my life wasn't supposed to be like this! I hit bottom hard a couple of times but each time rose up, bound and determined to win. My faith saved me. I still have my struggles, but, depression can be overcome with the right help.
Writing became one of my saving graces. I used to write everything out by hand but I suffer from fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis and my fingers and wrists just don't have the strength to endure long writing episodes, hence, the computer. My awesome brother bought me this computer and the keys have not stopped ticking since. I will always be grateful to him for his thoughtful & generous gift. He had faith in me as a writer and he believed in me. I will never be able to thank him enough.
This is all for now.
Goodnight dear friends!
My thoughts were a mess. I couldn't concentrate on the simplest things. I let my outer looks go. Even my children suffered right along with me as did my husband. Everyone was frustrated with me. I just wanted to die. The thought of taking my own life entered my mind many times but my "heart" did not want to die. I wanted to live and see my children grow. I wanted to live and see what the purpose of my life was all about. Surely my life wasn't supposed to be like this! I hit bottom hard a couple of times but each time rose up, bound and determined to win. My faith saved me. I still have my struggles, but, depression can be overcome with the right help.
Writing became one of my saving graces. I used to write everything out by hand but I suffer from fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis and my fingers and wrists just don't have the strength to endure long writing episodes, hence, the computer. My awesome brother bought me this computer and the keys have not stopped ticking since. I will always be grateful to him for his thoughtful & generous gift. He had faith in me as a writer and he believed in me. I will never be able to thank him enough.
This is all for now.
Goodnight dear friends!
Monday, March 5, 2007
My Introduction
I am so happy to be able to share with others through blogging. It has been upon my heart for a long time to do this but had other commitments before making my first entry. I have had a couple of poems published and a short story for Chicken Soup for the Soul, although I am far from being proffessional. I just had a fire in me to come to you out there in places I only dream about, and share my thoughts with you.
I have had a difficult life with my health so I have had lots of time over the past couple of years to do what gives me air in my soul...write, write, and write! It has helped me set a great deal of inner pain free and has shown me that I had fear of things that were just a waste of time. There have been so many tragedies in our family which brought a heavy blanket of despair for a great many of us. My own personal hurts have been many, but, I have learned over the years that I would not be who I am today if I had not walked that walk. I can be insightful to others pain and feeling of loss. I am not saying "Thank you God for the painful events & experiences", but I say, "Thank you God for seeing me through it."
I have come a long way and I can relax within myself today because of my faith that God has placed me here on this earth for a purpose and I can't wait to see what it is and what it has been. One of the gifts He gave me was being able to sit and tend the dying. I took care of my Mother during her 3 month battle of cancer and I learned to be strong but something else happened too. I know that this walk on earth is only a lifetime for us all but I have seen enough people passing on that it is not always ugly or frightening. It always hurts, yes, but, there was something that happened to me when I crawled into bed with my "little mommy" and I sang to her as she took her last breath. it was so peaceful. After that experience I was called by the hospital to be with a few Senior Citizens who had no family and who were dying alone. Then, others got my name and sent for me.
I pray that this does not turn you away. I have so much to tell and I will continue this somewhat "diary" in hopes that you will make your comments or ask for prayer. I am a prayer warrior and am known to send "prayer emails". My fingers speak far more accurrately than my rambling mouth.
Blessings to you today...always...& forever
I have had a difficult life with my health so I have had lots of time over the past couple of years to do what gives me air in my soul...write, write, and write! It has helped me set a great deal of inner pain free and has shown me that I had fear of things that were just a waste of time. There have been so many tragedies in our family which brought a heavy blanket of despair for a great many of us. My own personal hurts have been many, but, I have learned over the years that I would not be who I am today if I had not walked that walk. I can be insightful to others pain and feeling of loss. I am not saying "Thank you God for the painful events & experiences", but I say, "Thank you God for seeing me through it."
I have come a long way and I can relax within myself today because of my faith that God has placed me here on this earth for a purpose and I can't wait to see what it is and what it has been. One of the gifts He gave me was being able to sit and tend the dying. I took care of my Mother during her 3 month battle of cancer and I learned to be strong but something else happened too. I know that this walk on earth is only a lifetime for us all but I have seen enough people passing on that it is not always ugly or frightening. It always hurts, yes, but, there was something that happened to me when I crawled into bed with my "little mommy" and I sang to her as she took her last breath. it was so peaceful. After that experience I was called by the hospital to be with a few Senior Citizens who had no family and who were dying alone. Then, others got my name and sent for me.
I pray that this does not turn you away. I have so much to tell and I will continue this somewhat "diary" in hopes that you will make your comments or ask for prayer. I am a prayer warrior and am known to send "prayer emails". My fingers speak far more accurrately than my rambling mouth.
Blessings to you today...always...& forever
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