~ How I Came To Know Jesus~

I have had a request to write about my deliverance. I will do it happily as I travel down the road of rememberance through my words.

My life story has not been a happy one. There were struggles of every kind. When you grown up in that kind of dysfunction, you become dysfunctional. I had no idea that I was not living a good life, after all, it was almost just like my parent's lifestyle. It wasn't until after my second child that there were deep rumblings in my gut that I wasn't living on a proper scale. My former second husband's (father to my 2nd. child) family were this beautiful and loving family that were filled with laughter. They had fun together, like, going to a fancy resturant for New Years Eve, or dinner parties. I was so terrified because I had no idea whatsoever how to eat shrimp cocktail or cornish hens. The pastry of my Mother-in-law's pie was flaky and melted in your mouth, and I had never had a raisin pie before, now one of my favorites! My father-in-law was the turkey maker...'a man cooking!'...I had never heard of such a thing before. And what was this bushy green thing on my plate? It was the first time in 26 years of my life that I had ever tasted 'broccoli'. Over 15 years I was given the 'best life lessons' that I have ever learned. They taught me how to cook, bake, laugh deeply, entertain...need I go on!

I had been introduced to so many, many differences from where I came from and I took to it well...except I still had some problems. When my marriage failed, I was devastated. Not only had I failed another marriage but I had lost the kind of parents that I had never had. My Mother was gone during my marriage & my Dad died when I was 16. I really grieved for my in-laws and still do.

I went back to my old ways, using the 'poor me poor me' excuse. My 2 children were adults by then but I know that I had hurt them in many ways by my lifestyle. One day, during a hospital stay, I felt the true peace of God envelope me and there was not on ounce of fear in me. No anger, no questions, no anxiety...just peace & love. That moment changed me forever because I had 'seen' the work of God before but I had never felt it inside me. This may sound like a fairy tale to how I came to know Jesus...but there was more.

I was alone in my little home and I had been struggling with terrible thoughts & feelings until I could take it no more. I called a Reverand that I had met in passing and asked for help. We met at his church 10 minutes later. I don't know how I even drove there that night because I was so messed up! He led me to the Lord and I have never looked back.

This has been a changing turn in my life, and a beautiful one! I am a completely different person now and have been making friends with some talents that I had not desired to encourage before. I am able to communicate my feelings like I have never been able to do. It has given me a sense of 'soul freedom' and I was content.

I still have my challeges, BUT, I am no longer a 'lost broken soul'. Jesus walked through all my trials with me. Sure, He could have delivered me from everything, but I never would have learned the wisdoms that I would need in order to survive. I would not be who I am today had I not walked this life beginning to now.

" REBORN IN CHRIST

When I saw this little picture I fell in love with it. It immediately reminded me of my Mom years ago, when she was staying with my husband & I and our two children. She had been going through a very stressful time at that time and so she and her brother decided that they were going to go out and forget about the fears and hurts, and enjoy a few drinks.

She got home later than I expected. Here is the 'reversed role' memory.

~I was tossing and turning in bed while listening with one open ear for my Uncle's car to pull up. It felt like it was 4:00am but it was only midnight. I heard the car's motor driving up the street, pulling over to the curb and a car door slamming shut. My Uncle waited until his sister got to the door and then he left after she got inside.

I was standing at the top of the staircase railing awaiting for her to notice me. She worked on the door a little longer than usual because she was trying desperately not to make any noise. The door squeaked a little and she sucked in a breath and froze. Then she began to giggle. She must have been thinking what I was thinking at the same moment "Who was the Mom and child now?" I couldn't stand it anymore and I said in a very firm harsh whisper,

"Where have you been! Who were you with? Were you drinking!"

She almost leapt out of her skin and with that a breaking of wind! Well, we started to laugh. We both covered our mouths and headed downstairs to the basement suite where we could laugh without waking anyone. It was good for her to have that feeling again of revisiting her youth even though it was 'just memory". Memories can keep people going. If they are good memories I see it as 'fuel for the spirit'.

Why don't you share a good memory here or with a friend. Go back, listen, feel, remember the smells & sounds & laughter. Let it help you toward one of the greatest things in life...peace.

Bless you and thanks for coming in.

'Auntie'