""Christmas of Pain & Joy"

Most often we think of Christmas as a time of fun, laughter, giving, receiving, gaining weight because of temptation, family togetherness and to some recognizing that the Christ Child was born unto us. To others it can be a very painful time of year.

This December 25 th. my cousin lost her daughter a few years back. It naturally devastated the family and it affected those who didn't even know Kora-Lee.

She was just beginning her life and was happy and in love with Matt. It was evening and the lake was frozen over and many years had found this spot across the frozen waters a great place to hang out, build a big bonfire and feel good to be alive in this beautiful country. Kora & Matt were a bit late in leaving the trail of skidoos. The snow was coming down in silent big fat flakes and as they began their ride it was like a surreal vision of white. They slowly made their way along the well worn path around the lake when all of a sudden their skidoo plunged into icy waters. The gang of friends became worried when Matt & Kora did not show so they back- tracked only to find broken ice and tracks that came to an end in the snow.

The search went on in the freezing cold weather...no matter what. Many, many people showed up for the search besides S & R. The family almost lived on the lake in prayerful hopes of finding their little girl who had just begun her womanhood. Matts family were right alongside, bonding with the grief that encircled these two families.

39 days later they found Kora's body. Imagine pulling yor little girl from this icy grave. My heart still chokes when I think of this unimaginable pain and horror that they endured. On the 55 th. day they found Matt.

For my cousin, husband, oldest daughter & Kora's twin, Christmas Day is a painful memory of that part of their lives they wish they could forget. Matts family will also suffer all of their lives from these memories. Please remember dear people that what you have today we must cherish for we never know what tomorrow will bring. Live fully, givingly, sweetly, and happily. Give up all the junk that prevents you from being completely happy and healthy. Today is the day to begin the first day of the rest of your life!

It was made known to me by a friend about a sweet little four year old girl who practically lives next door to me. It is her Grandma & Grandpa's home and she is there a great deal of the time. She was diagnosed with a rare stomache cancer that's found in young children. She had become juandiced last January 07 so she was rushed off to Children's Hospital and treated and diagnosed. She began a barrage of tests, needles, many, many blood transfusions, stomach drains, feeding tubes & chemotherapy which caused this sweetheart to lose her baby fine hair...oh gosh...need I go on! I can't imagine how her Mom & Grandparents cope let alone this precious little angel. Our town has had many fundraising events because of the treatments she needs. The latest being a fundraiser for a trip to Boston for radiation because it is not available in Canada. Kaylanna & her mom Miran must stay for 8 weeks. They are joyful, even though Kaylanna must endure yet more rounds of tests and radiation, because Kaylanna's tumor is shrinking. I don't even know her but I am totally joyful over this latest news. You will find her on Face Book in "Groups".

So with each breath we take, with each hug we give and receive and each time we are with friends, family, or passers -by...be a ray of sunlight in their lives. Show them your goodness and inner beauty from within you. Let this Christmas be the best Christmas you have ever had. Not just from buying gifts but by giving of yourself in love.

I am praying that all sad memories can be put aside for awhile on Christmas Day and that we will all be grateful for our health...and our life.

If you find the spirit moving you to help Kaylanna & her Mom go to Boston please make a donation to

Kaylanna

The Bank of Montreal

224 th. & Lougheed Hwy.

Maple Ridge, BC

Christmas Memories

WOW...forty-two more days before Christmas Day! It is the time of year when people (at least most people) are filled with joy and excitement. Women are gathering their thoughts on paper to bring together an array of food upon the dining room table to feed her loved ones. Men are wondering what to buy the wife on Christmas Eve, and children...oh the children...they are what makes Christmas so excitiing. I remember when my kids were small and how my heart melted when I saw the belief shining in their eyes that Santa really did come! Those were beautiful days and are just a memory now. My kids are all grown up and things have really changed. The one thing that has not changed though is that they have not forgotten those days and that they see the importance of what being a family is.

Some people are not as fortunate as we are. The economy is at a low and it is difficult to get by on meager wages. Believe me...I know from experience. Some are not able to work, and some are alone. I never did like that word...alone. I wrote about it during the illness of my mother before she lost her battle to cancer after three long months. Later on, my children & I always tried to reach out to others, especially at that time of year. We would buy groceries and deliver them anonomously or donate money to a church. Some times there were places asking for a wrapped toy for a boy or girl. I remember well the meek Christmases we had as I grew up. One Christmas there were four wool socks hanging up with an orange and some candy inside. I was happy with it because it was something we didn't get often. Fresh fruit & candy were a real special treat. The socks were my Dad's. I recognized them from when my Mom would wash them by hand and hang them to dry. The smell of them were so clean and crisp from Mom freeze drying them and then bringing them in to thaw. I can still see myself in those days as though it were yesterday.

Later on in years we did get a present, but, I can't help thinking that right now someone is in need. The thought of Christmas coming is a sadness to them. Gosh...it breaks my heart to think that a child may go without. I wish I could save the world...but I can't. I can only pray that someone will outstretch their hand of friendship, kinship, and help someone they know who needs it, especially with Christmas coming.

What is your favorite Christmas holiday memory? Isn't it wonderful that we have been given this gift of memory so that we may remember wonderful times with family. I LOVE walking in the snow. I love the sound it makes as the snow crunches under my boots. I try looking into as many snowflakes as I can just to see if they are all different. I love the peaceful sound the white blanket brings. Christmas...how wonderful...how awesome!

Food! My comfort food for Christmas is mashed turnips, coleslaw, mashed potato, (my Mom's kind) & she always had pickled beets. For dessert there was always Lemon Pie, Apple Pie & Pumpkin Pie. This was much further down the road of my life. We would all pitch in and split the costs so that it wouldn't be so hard on Mom. My brothers were wonderful when it came to buying things for Mom. They loved her dearly. My sister & I would help Mom in the kitchen while all the little ones were running around our feet. The three of us would talk and laugh and whisper as we peeled, chopped & stuffed. How I miss those days. Since Mom has passed on it just isn't the same anymore. We have all gone our own ways and busy in our own lives.

I am already getting ready for my little Christmas time with my daughter, her husband and my son. A far cry from what I used to have with all of the energy, noise & constant loving chatter. My little family & I celebrate quietly. It gladdens my heart because now I have begun my own little family tradition...and we are happy with it. One gift, one meal, one dessert, and lots of laughs.

I used to have an appetizer party in rememberance of my Mom on her birthday which is December 15 th. Since my brother's suicide I couldn't host them anymore. My heart was and still is broken and I just didn't have the desire to continue this gathering anymore. Oddly enough, my brother's birthday is on December 16 th.! They also died 4 days apart but with 12 years between. This year I felt my heart change. I discussed it with my daughter and I decided that this year I was going to have a appetizer party. It wouldn't be as flamboyant as my previous parties were because of my strict budget but I will do what I can the best I can! My daughter is my "right hand girl" and she is helping me prepare everything. I used to be in catering, and cooking and baking were my first loves (so to speak). I used to put on candlelit dinner parties for 25 people without even one thought. Wow...have I ever lost my touch! My hands cause me a lot of grief with their arthritic pain and restrictions but I manage. Here is the menu that we have that is little cost, simple , and easy to make.

Super Nacho & Tortilla chips; The Keg Stuffed Mushrooms; Italian Deep Dish Zucchini Pie; Bacon wrapped mini corns; Vegetable Tray & Uncle Dan's Dill Dip.

Please email me some of your ideas for appies if you feel the spirit move you...0:) Sharing recipes is also a hobby of mine.

This menu is subject to change. I am a woman and we do tend to change our minds a lot. Right ladies...0:)Blessings to you all and get ready for "sharing, caring, & faring"

Glady

"I Can Smell Winter In The Air"

The days have shortened now as the weather cycle turns to a chilly evening air. Ice is being scraped off of car windows and the heat is being turned up to a comfortable level. How blessed we are that we have the safety of our homes, warm beds, and hot comforting food to eat. Every day I give thanks for these beautiful gifts. I long ago stopped worrying about the things I wanted and instead I am grateful for all I have.

I love winter. Most of my married life, we lived in places where the snow falls were blindingly deep. At one time, in Terrace British Columbia, the snow was five feet deep, so when the roads were plowed, it was like driving into a snow tunnel! The tires were silent on the white packed roads and it was a feeling of awesome and unexplainable peace. Walking in it as the snow fell in huge fluffy flakes was as though the heavens opened up a feather pillow and let loose the down filled stuffing. My children loved being out in it except for the fact that I bound them up so warmly and tightly that it was almost impossible for my four year old daughter to stand on her own while mummified in her "snow snoot" (as she called it in her little girl talk). Her brother got quite a laugh out of watching her fall backward after he would stand her up again. What beautiful memories. Our bodies may grow old but our lovely memories stay fresh and alive within our hearts.

How about you? Do you enjoy winter? Do you enjoy giving yourself a day where you need not do anything and crawl back into bed with a hot coffee or tea and a good book? It is nice and healthy to treat yourself to "a doing nothing day". Life is so short and we never seem to slow down because today's day and age won't allow it. But, we can take a second look at it from others who have suffered consequences from not slowing down. I have never been very healthy and so I do and must take time out but I know people who have been healthy, active, eating right, but on the go a great deal, and they have had heart attacks or other health problems. So, how about it...crawl into bed with a bean bag, hot drink of tea and a good book. We may be in for a long, cold winter, so stock up on "chicken soup" (either to read or to eat)and snuggle up.

Happy Resting & Reading,

Glady

What Does Autumn Mean To You?

Wow...where did the summer breezes & warm kisses from the sun go? It just seems like yesterday that I was outside scrambling for shade from the burning rays. Are we ever really satisfied though? When it is hot, we want cold. When it is rain we want cloudless skies, and when it snows we want beaches. We seem to forget that each season has its reason for being there. We here in Canada are surrounded by lush green mountains, fresh clean air, and fresh water. I cannot speak for other places because I have not been anywhere but Mexico. It was hot & beautiful there and I had arrived on February 25 th. so it was a welcome change from the very wet and heavy snow that had covered us that particular year, but coming home was a reminder of how I could not live in heat year round. I am a very seasonal girl and I would miss my snow topped mountains, rushing rivers, forests and the breathtaking colors of Autumn.

My daughter & I were walking yesterday to the supermarket and we found ourselves stopping and picking up fallen leaves from a maple tree. We drank in the colors of bright oranges swirling amid red & brown. Perfect for pressing, we carried them home carefully. Would we use them? I don't know. But they were there just in case we came up with an idea for a pressed leaf gift. We could not pass up the chance at marking that moment in time that we shared together with the chilly autumn wind whipping pieces of hair against our cheeks. I looked over at my baby girl (even though she is a married woman) who was bent over choosing the perfect leaves for her little collection and I was reminded of a time when she was a little girl, picking leaves for me. How the seasons had slipped by so swiftly and yet, here we were, once again, picking flowers & leaves to be pressed. I thank God for all of the seasons that have passed to fill me with the remembrances of being with her like this. I relate many of my memories to seasonal moments. I am a very blessed woman to have had a son & a daughter to collect pages and pages of season filled memories that will keep me in warmth through the ages of my life.

We have shared many a "tom turkey" dinners together. I remember when we were all a family and we sat formally at a huge dining room table with loved ones filling 25 seats. The turkey was stuffed and roasted by my former father in law, and it was done so to perfection. I have never tasted a more golden, melt in your mouth turkey. They always saved Darlene and I the wings. Oh those crisp wings! We really forgot our manners at those times and amongst the clinking of crystal and scraping of silver upon Mom's best china, you would hear...CCCRRRUUUNNCH! NIBBLE...MOAN...CCCRRRUUNCH! The family would stop and look at the both of us, (who were completely oblivious to the fact that we were being watched intensely)...but we wouldn't have cared less anyway. Yes, I miss those wings. I miss those dinners. The brussel sprouts in bacon sauce & carrots au gratin were a regular vegetable entree'. Home made dill pickles , canned beets, sweet mustard pickles, & bread & butter pickles were also a beautiful addition to our turkey dinners. All of these had been canned during the summer by our own little hands. Darlene & I used to can about 30 jars each of each type of pickle. Hot and tiring work but so worth it. For dessert over coffee we always had an extravagant show of beauty that would have pleased the Queen.

Now that, because of unfortunate circumstances, we no longer have these memorable dinners and gatherings, my son Jim, daughter Danielle, & her husband Felix, have lovely intimate dinners together, trying to prevent that burning "family candle" from flickering out.

Autumn...the time of year when all things die? No, they are just sleeping. They are constantly living through cycles of seasons so that when it is time to poke through the dark earth or sprout a bright new green leaf, we will once again face the heavens, smell the air and feel the breezes and give thanks for another fall, winter, spring, and summer. We have lived another season. We have gathered more memories for our handbag of age so that when needed ,we can open it...and remember that fall isn't about things dying...it's about living.

Glady

September 11

"We Remember"

Today, I awoke to clear skies and a cool room and cozy bed. I rolled out of my little nest and went to wash the sleepiness out of my thoughts. I had not even thought about anything but medications & coffee! Toast would come later, and if I was too lazy to pop two slices of bread in the toaster I would pour milk into the bowl of Corn Flakes. I was anxious to get to my computer and finish a story that I had begun last night. As I parked my hinny on the now well worn office chair and flicked on "my baby", the date 911 stared boldly back at me. My heart sank.

My thoughts went immediately to the familes that are left behind. I choked up with remembrance of the utter and unbelievable chaos that enshrouded the beautiful city. Watching those towers fall was a wide awake nightmare ! I remembered where I was, what I was doing and who I was with, when this tragedy took place. My brother Randy & I were stunned into silence. There were no words that could have been said that would make any sense. All we could hear was a broken sob and then I realized it was from my own mouth.

This morning, those families who are still mourning , shared heart felt stories. The ones that really touched me deeply were the children. Some of them were so openly distraught they couldn't speak. These children, spouses & families must live with this nightmare for the rest of their life because it will be a tradegy the world will never forget. I prayed this morning for those families and I prayed for myself that I would never, ever forget how very blessed I am and that I should hold my tongue the next time I complain about something. I cried off and on for the rest of the day. I almost choked when I was eating supper while watching the news. I was eating corn on the cob. A preteen came on and was crying as was her brother. She tried bravely to answer the News Reporters question but she just couldn't do it. When I saw this, I sucked in air quickly in sorrow and a piece of corn went down my throat and I ended up choking until it was passed. Later, I thought about how frightened I was when it happened and then I compared it to how those "heroes and sheroes " felt when they saw that building coming down. Oh dear God...please help these families and countries heal.

I long for peace and harmony. I pray that we all will never forget all of the people who have died needlessly . I pray that we all will strive for peace, and love one another without predjudism or judgement. I pray that you will sleep gently and peacefully this night. The sky will be clear and blue tomorrow upon awakening if you want it to be...even if it is raining.

To peace...

Glady

"Chicken Soup Stories"

"Hey Linda...did ya hear 'bout that there book called "Chicken Soup for the Menopausal Soul?"

"What? Speak up, girl, can't hear ya'. I blew my ear drums out while snortin' from laughing so hard at this new book I'm reading called, "Chicken Soup for the Menopausal Soul! Have you heard of it?"

Not only have I bought them and read them, I am now being published in them. Two of the stories just happen to be in the "Menopausal Soul Edition" I have also been recently published in the "Chicken Soup for the Brother & Sister Soul" If you have a story to tell it should be heard. Give Chicken Soup a try or maybe just go buy one of many of the books and see how you like them. I guarantee that you will not be disappointed. There are so many, many, titles that you could choose from.

I had been going through some particularily tough times about 10 years ago and someone bought me a "Chicken Soup for the Soul". So many of the stories were so much like my own situation and I took comfort in advice, and, maybe it was just the knowledge that I shared it with someone, even though we did not know know each other. Wow! It was a turn around for me. Out of all of the self-help books on my shelf, Chicken Soup really hit more innings with me.

Then the newer topics came out and with each new title I could relate to it. They are still looking for stories for "Chicken Soup for Life's Most Embarrassing Moments", and "Chicken Soup for the Do-It-Yourselfer's Soul" Go on...give it a try.

Actually, writing for Chicken Soup has helped me become not only more confident in my writing but also in my personality. Knowing that I may, just may, help someone with my story, or better yet, make them laugh, lifted me up from the mire I had been stuck in all of my life. Thank you Chicken Soup owners, editors, publishers and contributors, for being a part in changing how I feel about myself as a new writer.

"Keep on scratching up the dirt in the chicken coop to find more stories!"

With many stories to come...

Glady

Where Is The Justice?

In Memory Of Darlene

August 24 th, 2004, Darlene was on her way home from afternoon shift. It was a quiet night and the drive home was long. She couldn't wait to get home to her comfy bed and cuddle up to her hubby and sleep peacefully. As she pulled out from the stop sign she saw the vehicle that was speeding toward her and it was not slowing down for his stop sign. She braked and skidded to veer out of his way... but he hit her hard. She died instantly. She was a daughter, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, sister and friend. Her laughter nor her tears would never be seen or heard again. Her extrodinary talents in the kitchen as an accomplished cook would never be tasted again. Her grandchildren would never feel her hugs and kisses or have Grandma read anymore stories as they cuddled up to her at bedtime.

She was a 911 Operator. Her job was a high stress job but she handled it with an ease of professional strength. Darlene was my former sister-in-law and during the 15 years of being family, we were great friends. I loved her dearly. She was strong and serious yet she had a wonderful quirky sense of humor. When she and I were together we really made family gatherings memorable with the crazy things we would do. After my marriage was over with her brother, we sadly lost touch. I always grieved losing my ex husband's family because, once, they were my family too and I loved them deeply. It took a long time to move forward from some hurtful words between Darlene and I and I will always regret them, now so more than ever.

Her sudden death in her young age of early 50's was a great blow to many, many people. It will be 3 years this August and the Court Case is finally making a decision on the punishment for the youth who killed her. He was drunk and speeding. This was not his first offense in drunk driving and speeding. His lawyer is trying to get him off because he admitted his wrong doing even though the Prosecuter testified that the accused told him quote unquote "She was just an old lady" ! Does that sound like he should not be punished for his wrong doing? He may only get 2 years and then the loss of his license for 5 years. What kind of a laugh is that! I am so sick that her death may not be able to prevent someone else from being hurt. I am so angry that it was unneccessary that she was taken so violently from her family...from her life. It just isn't fair. My heart breaks every time I hear the pain in my daughter's voice when she tells me about the outcome of the court case or the Coroner's report.

What can we do to speak out to those who have habitual records of speeding or drunk driving? Where can someone go to seek help for these offenses so that they won't repeat? How can we be a bridge to prevention because obviously there needs to be some sort of "connection to prevention". Isn't there enough troubles in the world already that we have to fight drunk drivers and speeders too? If you think you are one of these...please go for help. Don't be on the list of taking someone's life because you thought you were okay to drive.

My heart aches openly as I write these words. Maybe I shouldn't voice my opinion on this case but it was too close to home not to say anything. People, please...have a look at your life. is it the life you want or does your heart desire a change? Reach out...or pray. Call a friend. Don't grieve alone. Don't be angry alone. If you feel that you can't trust yourself, go for help because the consequences are far worse than admitting you need help, not just in drinking and driving but in other areas too like depression, anger, abuse, or anything that you are worried about. Life is already too short...let's not make it shorter for ourselves or someone else and their families.

Somewhere in my Christian heart I must find forgiveness for this young man who took her life because I will not be free if I don't. I will be filled with rage and hate and that does not feel good within my soul. I have come to far to return to my old ways of being bitter. My only solace is that maybe she called out to God in that final moment as she saw her death approaching in her aloneness and she is in Heaven now.

Justice...where is the justice with something like this? What does it look like or sound like? Does it have a face or is our image unrecognizable as it looks back from a steamed up mirror ? I guess we all ask that question in our lives every so often but I pray that it isn't because you have lost someone.

May the light of God's truth shine upon your face so that the shadow of loss and pain may fall behind,

Glady